Ticking time bomb.

My reality check came when I was about halfway through carrying Hilwa in my tummy.
Gestational diabetes mellitus.
That's when I knew it was a matter of when, not if, I will get type 2 diabetes.
I've always known my grandmother & most of my mother's siblings have diabetes,
& I've always kinda known it's hereditary.
But when I was confirmed with it during my first pregnancy, at the age of 25, I could almost hear the clock start ticking.
But with childbirth came breastfeeding & I was comforted by how fast I was losing weight & how efficiently I was keeping it off regardless of how I was eating & the amount of sugar I was taking in.
Fast forward about 5 years later,
I turned 30, the dynamics shifted, & I weaned off Izzaz.
& boy, hello obesity.
My BMI was well in the overweight section, & my body fat percentage tells me I'm obese.
But above the ill fitting clothes,
The shortness of breath when I sit cross-legged on the floor & leans forward to fold clothes,
The pain & numbness in my legs when I stand & walk after,
The self consciousness of being bigger than I used to be,
Is the ultimate nagging feeling that I could check my blood sugar right now & find out I'm diabetic.
& if it takes paying a company to put me on a diet program to buy me some more (a lot more, I hope) time, then so be it.
I just realized I've managed to kick my sugar addiction in just 2 months without much withdrawals,
I get up better in the morning, most importantly eager to start sweating,
& the cherry on top is my husband's been checking me out pretty often lol.
So this is a reminder to myself for those days I get a negative comment or two on "dieting".
It's not about the inches, it's about the mmol/L.