when you have the munchies.

i suppose it is time for a post that makes (some) sense. as everyone, or at least everyone who lives in the klang valley, is aware of, it's been raining everyday at precisely 1600hours. & that is the exact time the food i had for lunch is being digested, & also the specific time i finish class on most days. sooo.. i've been arriving home hungry.

today i felt like eating nuggets. considered drive thru kfc belakang fac on the way back for 2 minutes, then decided naaaahhh i ain't paying rm6++ for nuggets. got home & checked the freezer, yes there are nuggets. then went into the kitchen & the oddest feeling overwhelmed me. i honestly don't feel like pouring out about a quarter of a bottle of cooking oil just so i can eat 6 pieces of nuggets. it's like a waste of precious commodity. now, i know oil can be reused & it's just nuggets.. but seriously. deep frying is a wastage!

i won't go to the part where deep fried food are fattening & stuff. it's not like i care actually.. but facts are facts.

so what am i doing now? contemplating maggi (for the second time this week) (told you i'm not that particular about eating healthy), & googling snack recipes :D

is it weird that im so touched by this? haha

Muse isn't so much an international, popular band or an idol to me.
they're more like a good friend who honestly cares.


warning us on ticket fraud! how sweet :)

Quote, "... and if in doubt, email us at help@muse.mu and we will let you know if the site you are considering is legitimate." Unquote

last night while queuing up at mcd, i was looking up at R & i realized even after *counts* roughly 5 months of being together, i still haven't quite believed that he's all mine now.

yeah i'm weird that way.

i don't know why i bother waiting.

i don't know why i didn't just hang up.

i don't know why i am not out (wait, i do know why. but that's beside the point)

i can't sleep because i have already overslept.

i am hungry but my mouth tastes bitter, thanks to oversleeping.

i wouldn't mind barfing, but my stomach's empty.

honestly, i don't know what i want right now.

is Muse edible?

revelation for today.

one just can't deny that one's ex(s) are always going to be the best kind of friend. & maybe even the best friend.

i guess that's why i make it a point to stay cool with every guy that i've ever been involved with.

so.. kehadapan mantan kekasih yang paling havoc, silalah reply text "weh.. rindulah" yang baru dikirim. lama tak mintak kau belanja burger uptown ^^,

because when the Heart talks, it talks softly.

i have (always had) this feeling that we're existing on borrowed time. that, one day, we shall crumble. & i, by laws of nature, shall be returned to my Rightful Owner.

-------

trust me, when i want to be difficult, i can be (very) difficult.

-------

you come; bearing food; & comfort; & words.
& this mouth twitches (upwards), though unwillingly, uncontrollably.

-------

so what were we fighting about again?

kadang-kadang; hati ini, jari ini, telinga ini; terasa gatal betul nak pasang lagu itu; lagu itu, version specific itu; kuat-kuat. dan layan mood hujan lebat di luar rumah. we'll see how it goes.

-------------

sesiapa yang berkesempatan untuk bukak folder "misc" dalam PC aku ni, silalah carik file yang dinamakan "yesayagedik". horhorhorhorhor rasa macam nak horhorhor sampai tahun depan. oh hilyah dah please :P

hmmm...

i is currently chatting with kak shah. tadi mintak dia tolong check ayat nihongo untuk oral test esok. bangga gila when she told me my third sentence was perfect (1st & 2nd ada kantoi sikit. nasib baik check :P) pastu dia cakap "nanti boleh la sembang dengan aimee". & dia kata lagi "abg hadi mesti suka". oh semangat mula mendidih.

lepas tu dia cakap pulak, "nanti boleh la further studies kat jepun. untuk masters/phd boleh study in english. tapi dah ada basic nihongo ni, lagi senang nak communicate" & stuff. dalam kepala otak aku mula terngiang-ngiang "concert Muse kat jepun selalu superb kot!" ngeheh :P then dia bagi links for scholarships untuk ke jepun. the old "nak study kat harvard" angan-angan yang dah berhabuk tu tiba-tiba resurfaced. hello old friend, long time no see :D

so... kerja & kahwin di malaysia or kahwin then study kat jepun untuk lagi 1.5 to 2 years? we'll see how things go with this degree ok ;)



for reference:

• Biasiswa Tajaan Kerajaan Jepun - Monbukagakusho MEXT

i am still High on green&purple cupcakes

pictures!

biru dearest, please remember that kak lyah loves you so much sampai sanggup panjat tembok ok?

special appearance! yang kuning-kuning sebelah kanan tu :)

THANK YOU! (for the second surprise party of my life :D)

...because words simply can't describe :)

juga, terima terima kasih kepada yang tiada dalam gambar, mama & fai.

nothing can ever compete with the uplifting powers of some good ol' "MK Ultra goosebumps-down-the-spine".

i love you matt! for making him live on through your music

insanity (one level at a time)

there's so much noise in my head that i didn't even notice i forgot to turn on the radio.
& even with the radio turned off, it was deafening.

--------------

the kind of attention that i give to music now was sparked by muse.
& muse was sparked by...
sigh.

--------------

it started with the resistance being unbearable.
then it was everything muse.
now it's music in general.

--------------

i'm slowly turning myself deaf.
i can't help it.
because as the song goes;
"kaulah laguku, kau irama terindah,
tak lagi kudengari,
kau pergi..."

--------------

come back.
i've never been this confused.
& torn.
come back, like you normally do, & just as you are (or, were?), please.

wishlist (lagi)

can i want lady gaga's Heartbeats earphones for my birthday please please pretty please(s)?

not because it's lady gaga, & also not because it's fashionable or anything.

but because i LOVE the review on over here (which is supposedly the only place selling the headphones in malaysia right now).

i want it! because this is exactly what i feel when it comes to listening to muse;
"Because when your music sounds amazing, you stop hearing it, and start feeling it." -as reviewed on over here

it's only rm230 *buat muka comel gila*
whichever colour is fine, i'm not picky i swear :D

IIA.

a smile so sweet, only for me.

but i lost you just as you were approaching.
conscious. 0732hours.

desperate, i shut my eyes.
filling my mind with the vision of you.
more. please, more.
but before i knew it, i was awake once again.
0840hours.

& then...

vividly.

in reality, a mere 1 hour;
in fantasy, a lifetime.

i'm glad you're still the cheerful you.
but twice in a row now, it seemed you've lost weight.
why though?

towards the end, i felt you slipping through my fingers.
farther.. & farther still.
yet i was so desperate to keep you.
forcing. pulling. holding.
& then a change of scenery.
you're no longer with me.
the clock showed 1000hours sharp.
but your presence lingers.. still does.

am i falling in love with you?
or could it be that i've been, all along, i just never realized?
i have a feeling this will explain everything.

now i know why everyone fusses over being 21.

it's a week to my birthday, & i guess i should really post this now. i realized it while planning for the singapore trip, & decided i'll wait til my birthday to really blog about it.

lately, almost every time i hang out with lin & wan, someone will definitely say something about feeling like we've been 21 for 2 years. seriously, reflecting back on my 21st surprise birthday party, sooooooo many things have happened between then & now.

like having a diploma.

like how i am a "maksu" now.

like getting my own car.

like owning a passport.

like how i've (finally) been outside semenanjung malaysia (planned & paid for the trip on my own :D).

like, of-fucking-course, seeing Muse LIVE.

21 has truly been an amazing year (or has it really been 2 years? huhu). & despite some complications, i'm glad the friendship wasn't affected by it.

off the top of my head, that's all for now. i think i'm ready for the big 22 :P

Injection.

"Knees are weak, hands are shaking, I can't breathe..."

nothing much, just want to thank fai for the brilliance of Rise Against.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.

:)

silalah tangkap saya.

khazanah nasional berhad, which supposedly is like THE IT company in malaysia (some believe if you want to rule the nation, or at least rule the wealth of this nation, you become the ceo of khazanah. pfft) has THE SADDEST website in the history of the universe. seriously, it's either they don't have a much-needed IT department, or the government is paying some blind salary (you know, gaji buta?).

please lah, we've entered into the cyber age like 15 years ago. wake up. people need info here.

Untitled.

in that moment of silence, i felt love so intense that my heart felt like it was about to implode. & explode. at the same time.

You are;
Perfection.
& more.

i can't bear being away from you. the very particles of my being feels the pain.
i love you. i need you. i am insanely comforted by just your presence.
i am at a loss for words.

there are texts; confessions, bursts of feelings; hidden in this post. & to respect the peace of mind of my readers (if there's any), i chose to make it invisible. at least to the naked eye. feel free to Ctrl+A though :) just, be prepared.