i have an irrepressible urge to just scream "shut the fuck up!"

i don't know how you kept that in dulu.

hats off to you.

seriously.

i don't knowwww

why do i feel all this?

di kala 'Daughtry - It's Not Over' menampar pipiku.

6 months, or so, ago i admitted that you'll forever going to be my greatest love. i can't change that fact.

now, i've finally accepted the fact that i am made for you, just as you are made for me. i can't change that fact too.

thank you for making me say it out loud. you were right. it was majorly relieving. i slept til 3 p.m.! :D



dan sekarang Estranged - Itu Kamu pulak. ye, Windows Media Player, sudah-sudahlah tampar aku.

"should i go left when there is nothing right, or go right when there is nothing left?"

found it on a friend's girlfriend facebook.

has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

& not to mention, it is an interesting question.

hehh.

sesi data entry went (quite) well, if you ask me.

now it's up to the grand server to process everything.

& make sense of it all.

& hopefully, bring about peace.

hopefully.

hopefully for the better, whatever the outcome.

though hilyah, next time tak perlulah chicken sangat sampai berkias-kias, berselindung-selindung, & end up tak tanya yang satu itu. sebab, agaklah, itu data paling penting, no?

i'm a sucker for shoes. & handbags. why am i a sucker for shoes & handbags? oh you know what else i'm a sucker for? blogger. i can't stop blogging. in this extremely quiet house (no, i don't blame anyone for that. i just love silence. it's better than Muse, i swear to god), i let my thoughts out through blogger. if i can get away with it, i'll blog every 5 minutes. sad, ain't it?

now i can't stop typing.

oh yeah, back to the main issue. why am i broke?

this will hopefully be the last on Neutron Star Collision

so i watched the premier of Neutron Star Collision music video last night. nyehh.. nothing much really. just for the thrill of seeing Muse, actually. plus, yes of course, the boys were divine in it. but did they really have to put twilight parts in it?

yeah i suppose they have to. it IS twilight's soundtrack. god edward looked horrible. really, what's all the craze about? he's UGG-LAY! why can't vampires have a little colour to their face (read: Vancha March). now that's a hot vampire. anyways..

.. yeap i saw the premier. it was nice seeing the boys on TV. & i still love them in sort of black&white. if you perve on Matt (or Dom, or Chris) like i do, it's worth the watch. muted, though :)

biarlah overdose blog post!

who would have thought i'd find this at the shallowest place?

"There are songs that make us want to dance;
Songs that make us want to sing along;
But the best songs are the ones that bring you back to the moment you first heard them;
& once again, break your heart."

--------------

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promised not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

And I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
I just wanted to hold

more Neutron Star Collision rantings.

thanks to natalia, i got to listen to the premier of the song plus an interview with Matt on Radio 1. she truly is in a class of her own. & i love these interviews. it makes me feel like leaving Malaysia & migrating to UK. & what they're planning for the summer shows sounds awesome. dammit! though i'm glad i've read 1984 because Matt clearly hasn't gotten over it. he's so cute isn't he? haihh.

Ministries of Truth, Love, Peace & Plenty; a chrome UFO complete with an alien; promises of Illuminati & other conspiracy theories. FLY ME TO EVERY VENUE PLEASE!

oh & let's put aside the cheesy-ness of the new song (i'm just quoting Matt on the "cheesy" part). i think he kind of wrote it for Gaia. so yeah.. whatever comes from his heart is gold. awww...

(i am positively worshiping this dude)

listening to Neutron Star Collision as i'm typing. well.. the lyrics are corny. but i love the first chorus. it's like, lepas sangat kecewa dengar the first 2 verses, tiba-tiba diserang ke-Muse-an yang sangat padu. it's not bad la, the whole song. they compensated the really corny lyrics with lots of ke-Muse-an. drums yang agak orgasmic, bass yang menggoyahkan iman, some electronic space sounds (kata pun Neutron Star Collision), & Matt's piano.

so.. first impression, not as disappointing as i thought it would be :)

30-second sneak preview

just saw the Neutron Star Collision 30-second sneak-peek video thingy on MTV. explains my (ex)phone's wallpaper. the video looks cool-ish. i mean, Muse is sort of known for weird videos right? (larger-than-life teddy bears in Uprising, astronaut Muse in S4A, to name a few). this one looks decent. well, i've always loved Matt in black&white, i can't help it. & the shot i have as my wallpaper is simply divine.

but i can't say much about the song yet. The Resistance sounded weird when i heard all of its 30-second clips. i don't know why they had to cut the weirdest, most unMuse-ish parts of the song to make it the sneak preview. haih.. so we'll patiently wait until the 17th to really pass judgement.

yes, one can now assume my mood had greatly improved since the last Neutron Star Collision rantings. huhu

the joyahs.

so apparently my depression yesterday was unfounded. firstly, because the whole lady gaga thing is fake (THANK GOD!). & secondly, & most importantly, i had so much fun today that yesterday seem so insignificant.

hmm, now i kind of understand the whole idea of altering the past thing in 1984. for one thing, its true like o'brien said, the past doesn't exist. its not like you can go to another country, or another planet, & see the past happening. its existence can't be preserved. & another thing is, what good does a past bring? it's irrelevant to the present, & to the future. the past are memories, & that's that. (i know a lot of people will disagree, but i can't quite gather my thoughts now. it think it's the allergy meds working. ngehh)

anyway, enough of crapping. had a bbq today with some of my perak friends. the day started with shopping at tesco w joyah & syida. then the preparations (marinating, "testing" garlic spread, tengok tv sambil kemas rumah, etc) also with joyah & syida. & finally the bbq itself. thanks so much to ika for sort of arranging everything (walaupun ia telah membuatkan kau serabut malam semalam hahah), rean, along, aidil, syamie & his girlfriend for coming, & of course to joyah & syida for helping with the preparations. oh juga, to ridhwan, sebab datang jugak walaupun terpaksa stay kat office sambil pukul 9.

sayang kamu semua! (kecuali mereka yang terlibat dengan kes rm30 hahahaha)

contains fab updates on Neutron Star Collision

mengantuk gila. lapar. agak rasa nak terkencing. tapi malas. mahu enjoy. tapi broke. mahu tidur. tapi nanti berpeluh. risau. tak tenang. malas nak ambil tindakan. tapi nak buat semua diatas. dan nak duit.

ah bosaaaann.. kenapa rasa macam tak ada nafsu nak enjoy cuti ni? kenapaaa? saya rasa saya tahu kenapa tapi biarlah. it's not appropriate to be said out loud.

i don't feel like analyzing my papers. or recapping the finals. i'm so depressed by it, it's not funny. de-energized. oh saya tahu! saya rasa seperti after-effects of a dementor's kiss. or at least being in the presence of one.

berbalik kepada isu asal. saya lapaaar~ tapi seperti inappropriate untuk bertindak depan abah punya guest. tapi memang tak lah abah nak bawah dia keluar lunch. kat rumah ada lauk. tapi lauk tak seberapa untuk hidang. ah tak tahu tak tahuuu~

can i vow never to have guests at my own home later in my life? sebab aku nak, for once, feel like my house is my own. my private space. bukan ruang legar yang semua orang, termasuk haiwan peliharaan, boleh keluar masuk sesuka hati. saya nak rasa macam ini sarang saya. (haha! somehow i think the word "sarang" make sense).

so yes people. a peek into my thoughts. slowed down to about 1/100th of it's pace. & without some very lengthy explanation to each word. hee :)

------

mehhh. apparently lady gaga's collaborating (collaborated?) w muse on the new twilight soundtrack. aaaaa as if my day can't get any worse. haha chey drama gila. according to mel, it's on muselive. pergi lah carik sendiri kalau mahu tengok. i'm so not in the mood.

can i go be depressed? hahah

haihh.. ini lah post finals paling hambar ever.
bukan relief yang datang, tapi worry.
bukan tenang yang aku rasa, tapi makin cuak pulak.
haaa tatau tatauuu..
the fault's on you Lya.
siapa suruh "tak ada semangat" nak study.
arghh the wait is already agonizing.
gahh.
not to mention saya mengantuk like what only.

Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)

brand new muse twilight song coming out may 17th. *groans*

i hope it doesn't phail as bad as I Belong To You (-Mon Coeur S'Ouvre a Ta Voix).

i call it the "minus" version because they edited out the french opera part. wtf right? that's the whole point of the song!

i guess we'll just see (or should i say hear?) how it goes in 10 days' time.


oh & not to mention, the title of this post will definitely attract lots & lots of random google searches done by clueless twilight fans trying to "educate" themselves on muse, who has now turned into a god to them just because they wrote 3 songs for twilight. *rolls eyes*

------- edited at 2056hours

see.. told you. (kantoi i stalk my own blog)

good friend(s), good conversations, good food.

near, or far.

distance matters not, when there's technology, & time.

haaaaa saya high. of Lin, katong laksa, & now Dan! :D

hee gotta go focus on my msn chat.

yeay yeay yeayy happy nya dia. :P

haih.

kenapa
harus
rindu?

i swear to god i just wrote a longass, honest post on you. but somehow accidentally deleted the whole paragraph. i guess it's to be kept to myself.

whatever it is, i just came to a realization while typing whatever jumble i had in my head (& still have now). that is, even though i still don't understand why, seeing you makes complete sense to me. it gives me hope. it makes life, & especially sleep, that much easier to me.

so fuck what people may think. this makes sense.

kadang-kadang, i just can't help it but feel like i should have lived my life a different way.

to those i've hurt along the way, i'm so very very sorry.
& thank you so very very much for forgiving me.
because i know each & everyone of you have.
that's why there's random phone calls right?
god i miss (all of) you.


------


oh lihat! genap setahun hari ini. kau seperti tahu-tahu kan? comel :)

the "too good to be true"-ness of Singapore is repeating itself.

blimey indeed! silalah lihat travel datenya.

dan silalah lihat wembley date (yang belum sold out la ok?)

in 3.. 2.. 1..

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
mana aku nak dapat rm2000 before sunday? noooo nooo noooooooooo
this is just too good to be true. but i am missing it. dahlah hotel included! so takyah nak camp out depan the stadium & makan sardin. hahah and! pounds tengah murah gila kot sekarang! shaits!

but then again, there's a confirmed japan date sometime in july (tak ada tarikh lagi) & korea on the 1st of august. the last date before japan is 23rd july norway, & after korea is 15th august hungary. so there's some room to be hopefull yes?

gahh i don't know.