aku tak boleh describe feeling ini. it's greater than Love, Cinta, Sayang, Caring for someone. it's like belonging. seperti semua pieces of the puzzle just fits, with ease. it's that feeling where you can only express it with tears, of happiness & appreciation, sebab finally dah jumpa yang satu itu.
dia ucap terima kasih sebab aku menerima dia seadanya. sedangkan tiap-tiap malam aku ulang, aku sayang dia, sayang dia, sayang dia. sedangkan aku rasa tiada yang lebih sempurna melainkan dia. tapi dia masih ucap terima kasih.
the closest i can ever get to explaining is by asking one question. "What did i do right?" what did i do right sampai aku dikurniakan dia. don't get me wrong, i'm not questioning. never.
tak kisahlah apa dunia kata. aku, dia punya. I am Muhamad Ridhwan bin Ahmad's.
dia kata, bagi dia masa lagi sebulan. akan dia buktikan, ini semua isn't just the "first-three-months-angau" syndrome.
10.12.09
it's the small, small things that makes the biggest difference. small things such as choosing the last four digits of my phone number for me, & getting it right. spot on.
& i swear to Allah i never told him. never even mention in passing.
i've been keeping my eyes open for that specific green light, that should come from the centre (or should i say Above?). i think i've been getting signs.
6.12.09
there's a difference in being influenced by a band, & being identical to a band. being identical to a band is annoying. i don't know, i find it annoying.
C - CRUSHING ON: matthew james bellamy. no, actually, perving on him is more accurate
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: filtered water
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: i'm gonna say dzul. because i've known him for less than a month, but i can blab abt whatever to him
F - FAVORITE SONG: for now, MK Ultra. no, Resistance. no.. can i say favourite album please? or favourite band?
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: worms *wan's song starts playing in my head. nobody loves me, everybody hates me, i'm going down to the garden to eat worms~ hahaha
H - HOMETOWN: ttdi, kl
I - IN LOVE WITH: aqua lily
J - JUGGLE: guys? hahaha
K - KILLED SOMEONE: neahh sadly :P
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: 13hours was it? to/back from kelantan
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: chocolate
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3
O - ONE WISH: let this be the biggest change, not the biggest mistake.
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: R.
R- REASON TO SMILE: ohh multiple. reasonS in the most plural form :)))
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: lady gaga's love game's playing in my head -_-"
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6.01am. then 10am. then 12.22pm.
V - VEGETABLE(S): i eat em but i don't love em
W - WORST HABIT: over thinking maybe?
X - X-RAYS YOU HAD: twice, upper body
Y – YO-YOS ARE: so 10 years ago, remember? huhu
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: pisces
RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU:
Spell your name without vowels: nr hlyh shk
What color do you wear most?: green, in all possible shades
Are you happy with your life right now?: yes i am. not perfectly happy, but nothing's perfect
What is your favorite class in school?: physics. guilt-free nap time :D
Are you outgoing?: depends on my mood
Where do you wish you were right now?: right here. with you.
THE CANS:
Can you dance?: nah not really
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: have never tried
Can you whistle?: so-so
Write with both hands? : yes. tapi my right hand writing is super artsy fartsy if you get what i mean. hahahaha
Walk with your toes curled?: don't think so
THE DO'S:
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: i don't know, i haven't really thought of it.
Do you believe in miracles?: yes
Do you believe in magic?: of magical feelings & magical moments, yes.
Love at first sight?: sort of
Do you think there's a Satan?: i know yes.
Do you believe in Santa?: he's my uncle
Do you know how to swim?: yeah
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: definitely not
THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: yeah
Have you ever asked someone out?: oh yes. i hate waiting around
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: mhmm
Have you ever been to the ocean?: is it any different than going to the beach?
Have you ever painted your nails?: yeah. even with highlighter :D
THE WHATS:
What is the temperature outside?: don't know. just nice kot
What radio station do you listen to?: mostly, bila terpaksa, red.fm & mix.fm.
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: mcd
What was the last thing you bought? waist belt thingy
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: myself :P
CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: yes
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: uh huh
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: yes
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: of course
Do you cry when you get an injury?: depends
Do certain songs make you cry?: yes.
HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person: i suppose
What can make you happy?: babes, support system, mr it feels so right.
Do you wish you were happier?: no, no. you know what they say about having too much of a good thing.
Can music make you happy?: & relaxed, & calm, & the list goes on.
LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken?: i don't know. i don't keep bitter memories
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: oh yes
waking up to the alarm at 6.01am "sayang, bangun subuh.." -------
impromptu salon session. perfect "blow waves". fringed once again. all i want for christmas is you (or at least Aqua Lily perfume ;P) -------
tomyam campur yang spot on. support system. moment lagging di maulana. sempurna (dalam diam).
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green lights! (from left, right & praying to Allah, centre)
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"tengah rasa cuak/nervous/tak tenteram" updates from 5 hours ago. hey there bestie. long time no msn :)
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keep 'em smiles coming. "bila dia ada memang gelak je memanjang" "tulah.. i've been laughing for the past month or so now"
4.12.09
sumpah my brain is working in super slow motion. i can almost see the monitor contorting & twisting & like melting in front of my eyes. i can't remember the last time i had a really good night's sleep. i can't remember the last time i actually slept before the sun rises.
