supposedly Allah wouldn't let us chew what we can't swallow. it's a fact. Allah will always have mercy on us. so, really, i should toughen up & swallow this. for good. & stop being ungrateful. stop being defiant. because if He didn't think i could swallow it, He wouldn't have made me chew it in the first place.

but maybe. maybe. if i were to pretend everything's ok. that it's just worldly stuff that's keeping me from you. that we just have too much going on, being in opposite ends of the world, that we're unable to meet. to bump into each other. maybe i can finally have peace.

because i've been trying to chew & swallow this very incomprehensible situation, & i keep choking.

help me, Ya Allah. i do want to move on.

because i love to collect proofs on how genuinely nice these guys are.

here's a review of the Coke Live (Krakow, Poland), one of the European festivals.

& what i love most about the whole review is this part:

"At approximately 10.50pm, the manager of Alter Art, who was the festival organiser, came and spoke to the crowd, but only in Polish, which wasn’t much use really! He was trying to get everyone to take one step back on the count of three, but it had very little effect. I was told later that people on the gig thread of the Muse forum had tweeted Muse that it was extremely rough out there, and Tom had requested the announcement. Maybe next time, Tom should make the announcement – I’m sure that would have been much more entertaining, if not effective!!"

amazing, amazing stuff. the concert's awesome even though only being able to read the review is heartbreaking. one day. one fine, sweet day :)

this is muse at its best

Muscle Museum acoustic

loves!

& this is worth a mention in my blog. for future reference :)

Reading list

&&& one last link. this is babi-ness

Stade de France

emonya! how AWESOME is that?

rambles lagi.

can i live here?! nama cool gila kot!

btw, esok test IFM what?

ada siapa2 nak jual rumah dalam taman tun harga rm10.90 tak?

dan sebenarnya inilah peluang aku untuk practical sebelum sampai waktu aku practical. untuk kepentingan sendiri pulak tu. aku akan benefit from this dalam macam-macam bentuk, ye dak?

tapiii kenapa aku blur tak sudah-sudah ni? search punya search punya search kalau asyik di-X-kan window tu memang la tak jadi apa.

sebab authority bukan kat aku. hahah

apa merepek ni?

sayang, i tak boleh buat apa kalau u tak ada sebelah i angkat telefon "hello mr sekian-sekian, i'm interested in this property you advertized".

dah.. aku tak tau kenapa aku tak sms je benda ni kat ridhwan :P

rambles.

the guppies just gave birth last night. probably the third time this month? paling-paling pun the third time in one and a half months la. so scratch the idea of growing old with fifty cats. i'm freaking growing old with a hundred and fifty fish. all guppies. (& one pleco).


on a slightly related note;
hilyah,
bila awak nak mula study?

Inception

"You're waiting for a train,
a train that will take you far away.
You know where you hope this train will take you,
but you can't be sure.
But it doesn't matter-
because we'll be together."

"I miss you
more than I can bear
but we had our time together.
I have to let you go.
I have to let you go."

i would quote the whole movie if i can get away with it. honestly.

of you.

"A taste;
A scent;
A dream;
Many, many memories."

there's so much going on in my head that i can't let out. some feels inappropriate. most are just impossible to put into words.

wouldn't it be great if i can cry like how Layla is crying right now? the heart wrenching, deep from the guts sobbing kind of baby cry. but that'll just be a temporary release. until the next time. the next cycle. the next thought.

all i can say is, i am honestly emotionally drained.

"I'll hold you in my arms.
I just wanted to hold you in my arms..."

as Linsayang put so simply,
"Stars die only to live on."

to feel ur touch, right down to the bone.
to see ur smile.
to feel the warmth of ur smile.
ur face lighting up.
even for a split second.
to see with such clarity..
to hold..
to feel..
thank you.
thank you.
Ya Allah syukur alhamdulillah.

Izwan sayang,
Yes i love u.
i love u so much.
u take care. i know u're fine there.

compressed

post berkaitan LDK, Tapestry of Colours, trip ke Taman Burung, serta menyambut Ramadhan dibiarkan sepi begitu sahaja.

puasa, puasa. anda kena paham. otak kering.

huhu alasan tak boleh belah.

so.. 10% of fasting done, 4 nights of terawih done, eco test done (eh tetibe je).

so far so good.

cuma emosi sedikit terganggu. (biasalah, mood Ramadhan)

awak tengah panggil saya pergi visit ke?
terus terang, saya masih belum cukup kuat.
minta bersabar.
bawak kereta pun bergenang-genang air mata, macam mana?

jadi, selamat berpuasa semua orang! :)

my version of the Tapestry of Colours post.

because things do happen for a reason.
:)))

i could say a thousand & one nasty things. i would say a thousand & one nasty things.
but i wouldn't waste my breath (or energy typing).
breathe in, breathe out.
try again tomorrow.
try again the day after if, God forbids, tomorrow turns out the same.
i will,
by all means,
be there on saturday, August 7th, 8.30 p.m.
by hook or by crook.
*sumo pose*