GDM what?

I remember thinking I was doomed from the start.
When I found out I am pregnant for the second time,
The thought of GDM bothered me more than the fact that I was going to have another human being to be responsible for.
I started reading about pregnancies after GDM,
Surprisingly there aren't many published & official info on it, mostly talks about the first pregnancy,
So I relied on people's experiences.
I started watching what I eat,
Going for walks with Hilwa,
I made sure I lost the unnecessary weight I had put on the few months before I got pregnant,
But nothing was ever guaranteed.
Honestly I felt like it was a silly hope,
Going through this pregnancy without gdm.
But hah!
I passed my second mgtt with flying colors!
Oh god no bsp this time around,
No "you have to give birth by 40 weeks or we'll induce you" scare,
No repeat mgtt after birth too I suppose.
I'm so so relieved I can't even sleep,
& I've only had about 1 half hours of it all night.
I can't wait for buka now & eat whatever the heck I fancy lol!
& raya too!

Lunacy.

The thing about this whole situation is,
I can't even put it into words.
I'm so heavy now I'm exhausted even not doing anything.
When I fall asleep, I sleep like a log.
Been waking up at 2, 3 pm daily, no kidding.
As a result Hilwa tends to sleep a lot during the day too.
She'll wake up around 10, play & demand for her bread for an hour or two,
But she'll have to really fight hard for attention because I'm like feeding her the bread eyes closed like seriously.
So most of the time it'll seem like she gave up trying & just ask for her bottle & will be knocked out cold til I get off the bed to go bathe.
Sometimes she'll nap again at 5 or 6.
Then she'll stay up until papa comes home.
& papa has been coming home way past 3 am since going back to work after core leave.
To cope, both with having to tolerate Hilwa's annoying antics at night & the long hours of waiting for papa to come home,
I've been scrolling through fsot because I can only refresh instagram & Facebook so much in a day right.
So what I'm trying to say here is,
I desperately need a rebung.
An emerald rebung, but that's near impossible coz I don't think I've seen a single one listed in both fsots I'm in in the last 2 month or maybe more.
Ok before we go any further I'd just like to list down the things I've read on various people's review of the rebung.
It's light & airy,
It's newbie friendly, forgiving & easy to wrap with,
It can serve from a newborn to a toddler.
These are the most often that I come across so it's justified kan?
The fact that it comes in my colours seals the deal.
So I might, miiiight just join bebe sachi love & international fsots soon because right now I'm feeling desperate lol.
So if I end up spending a ridiculous amount of money on an emerald rebung,
The blame is entirely on papa coming home late,
Hilwa staying up late,
& my being pregnant.
The last reason also applies in case I end up with an Indio, a handwoven, ring slings (yes plural) & god knows what else in the next 2 months.
Because #tryallthewraps mah.

More pregnancy talk.

Ever since the whole 3rd trimester thing,
I've been forced to realise there's only a little over 2 months of this pregnancy left.
A little over 2 months to have 100% of Hilwa without distractions,
A little over 2 months to wash tiny clothes & reorganize the room,
A little over 2 months of peace, maybe.
Miraculously Hilwa has started drinking from the bottle sometime last week.
She still needs them bubis to fall asleep though, but baby steps.
I've had moments of panic picturing myself in the ward in the dead of the night, new baby in hand but longing for Hilwa.
The dengue episode still too fresh in my mind.
Remember I once wrote of how my heart doesn't yet know or have space to love a third person?
Well this heart is freaking out about having only a little over 2 months to learn.
A little over 2 months to get closer to Allah & pray for a smooth delivery & a healthy baby.
In this sense I can't wait for ramadhan.
What brought all these emotions anyways?
Well, I've just been through Hilwa's old clothes again & picking out those I need to wash for new baby,
& also making notes of any items that needs to be purchased.
& of course, the whole muse fiasco lol.
You see, there's gonna be a concert in Singapore on 26th September.
It's right on the dot at the end of my confinement,
If I give birth on August 12th that is lol.
It's not so much seeing them live,
I've seen them live.
& I haven't enjoyed their previous album, & it looks like I won't be enjoying their upcoming one either.
But it's just the thought of a roadtrip with my best friend (probably the last before she gets married T.T),
& just to be young while I'm young you know?
I have a passport waiting to be used,
I want to go see a good band play live.
It's just really not advisable for a 1 month old baby to tag along lol.
Oh well, I'm just going to ikea realisation this issue & leave it up to fate.
If it's meant to be then it shall be.
I better go enjoy these last 2 months of being a mother of one.
God knows what kind of schedule the new one is going to arrive with.
Hilwa was such an easy baby, especially sleep wise that I have a feeling I'm not going to get off that easily this time.
Lulz.