Earning smart.

I know my dad means well.
He wants me to be financially independent,
Every parent wants that for their children.
& he does it so subtly, never in a nagging way.
More of the "here, I'm giving you this idea. Use it".
& I do want to use it, they're good.
But I don't want to sound all cocky on Facebook ala those MLM people everyone hates.
Look at me sitting at home leisurely rolling around with my daughter til my muscles pull,
But at the end of the month I'm going to freakin Sydney.
It's the reality though, isn't it?
& usually it's these freakishly annoying statuses that gets the attention,
Well, mine at least.
I just don't know how other people will react to it.
So I guess I'll start here.
Anyone wants to know how I manage to stay at home with my daughter but still get to pay for my own Sydney trip?
I promise all you have to do is just continue using your phone like you normally do.
Leave a comment :)

Boredom.

I just realised the kalutness that I feel at night is just my brain wanting to divert its attention from missing my husband.
Not knowing exactly what time he'll come home every night & not being able to communicate freely with him is not bad enough to call stressful,
But it bothers me, especially when I'm bored.
Like right now for example.
Baby has started to kick, has been doing so since around 15 or 16 weeks (which is 3 or 4 weeks now).
It's getting more noticeable & frequent, but I still can't feel the kicks from outside my tummy.
It's basically just like my stomach is twitching & jumping on its own.
Which is kinda annoying coz I can't share it with anyone yet.
& I've been itching to look up names but I don't want to do it confidently thinking its one gender then finding out from the scan it's the other.
Hopefully we'll be able to find out this Saturday.
Til then I don't even want to think about gender, yes I'm THAT touchy on the subject lol.
I wish I have more exciting things to talk about.
I really do.
But my days have been filled by feeding Hilwa & washing her bum.
Her appetite is scaring me right now.
If her bmi doesn't improve at her upcoming check up then I'm just going to give up & say the scale at the clinic is broken.
There's no way she's underweight when she eats nonstop throughout the day.
& I have to feed her! Nonstop!
If anything it's making me eat more,
& if I get gdm again for gaining weight too fast too soon, the blame's on you girl.

Because the paper towns trailer is all i see.

I was one of them.
One of the people who would roll my eyes at the mention of tfios the movie.
Another cliche love story, Nicholas sparks wannabe.
Until Lin told me about the author of the book who has "a YouTube channel with his brother".
Then I thought, "god they must be gays".
In my head I pictured pretty faced, polished young men a-la glee.
Boy was I wrong.
I think when you do the things that John & hank green do for other people,
You definitely can get a way with corny teen love stories.
After I got to know these guys,
I got to know john's characters better,
His stories better.
& those stories stuck with me.
So forgive me for excitedly counting down the days to paper towns the movie.
Forgive me for gushing about them to my teenaged sister in law.
Because the greens are the very few people I know that can make charity seem cool.
& if the only way for them to recruit more nerdfighters is through corny love stories,
& if the only way to teach selflessness to the younger generation is to hype it up & make it cool,
Then so be it!

Drama.

So apparently you can seriously sprain your neck by gomol-ing your daughter.
A move I do almost every day (which is to envelope Hilwa in a hug then roll with her on the bed while smothering her with kisses) resulted in me being paralysed.
The pain was so intense I couldn't stop the tears from flowing out.
Mama tried to massage me then slowly guide me to sit up,
I started screaming in pain.
Thank god we have an awesome urut lady that she SOS-ed.
After 1 hour of an excruciating urut session, 2 panadol joint pains & another hour of sleep,
& assisted by a neck-brace, I managed to at least go to the toilet to freshen up.
Then I blacked out & fell, almost breaking my neck again lol.
So this post goes out to my husband,
For taking an emergency leave because there's no way in hell I'd be able to manage Hilwa.
For bathing me then drying & dressing me up.
For holding on to me when I couldn't hold my own weight anymore & slowing down my fall.
For feeding me.
For going out so many times, taking Hilwa with you, to get the neck brace & the koyok & more panadol joint pains & now food, because I only had 2 small bags of nasi impit the entire day.
& for only asking for a motorbike instead of another wife lol.
I'm sliiiiightly leaning towards a yes now.
Only slightly (don't get your hopes up).
Oh & for still loving me despite looking like hantu kak limah with dried tears all over my face, my hair all tangled from the urut session, & smelling like minyak panas.
Thank you so much, babylove.
I'm proud to announce I managed to walk down the stairs on my own & feed myself dinner under his care.
(& the amazing Aunty Maria urut extraordinaire).

Sydney rants.

My calendar+notes app just told me I'm leaving for Sydney in 45 days.
I'm freaking out.
Like, major freaking out I can't even put an exclamation mark on the above sentence.
Like I mentioned in my previous post,
There's nothing much to do anymore.
I kinda bought those overpriced shoes for Hilwa so I'm waiting to see if they're suitable for the trip.
I mean, it's not like she's going to be walking that much.
I don't trust her walking right now.
She tends to walk away from me, not with me lol.
& visa, which I'm applying only in April & I already have all the info from my sister ready for then.
But that's exactly it.
There's nothing for me to do right now.
& I'm going to be worrying & stressing & over thinking a good part of the 45 days away.
Like keep reminding myself over & over again to pack scarves & some gloves & tights & inners in case it gets cold, especially in Blue mt.
& arranging & rearranging the bags in my head,
Should we bring a backpack as our carry on or just the small trolley bag?
I don't want to burden ikhwan with a heavy backpack,
But handling 2 trolley bags & one stroller & a possibly squirming baby (even for a little while) is a bit much for 2 adults.
& talking about bags, of course I'm stressing about my handbags.
I'm itching for a new pouch where I can keep all passports & cash safe,
Which I definitely don't need coz I already have one but then there's this coupon Zalora sent for my birthday, youknowwhatimean?
& it would be practical for me to have a small backpack too so I don't have to lug around the skiphop,
Which, of course, mama already has too but it says 'Chelsea' on it eww.
Complete with the team logo or crest or whatever you call that thing. Ew eww.
& is it really not practical to bring the skiphop?
It's not so bad, & I might need the diaper changing mat.
(Wait.. Where did I keep my diaper clutch I totally forgot about that thing)
Well.. That's among others.
I try to distract myself by reading blogs of fellow Malaysians who has been to Sydney & especially featherdale & blue mt.
But then I kind of start panicking about our itinerary & start to overplan our journeys.
Like, I've already print-screened the transportnsw page for all the journeys we would take for the whole blue mt trip,
Including backup plans.
Complete with name of station, bus/train number & departure times & frequency.
Yes, that's how bad.
I can't wait for the end of the month when ikhwan will (hopefully) be back an hour earlier.

I can sense the mid life crisis approaching.

I'm turning 27 tomorrow.
It's the first time I actually feel age appropriate, I think.
I have a one & half year old daughter with another baby already baking,
Yeap. I'm appropriately 27.
Plus I don't have anything else other than parenting related news to share.
Like my best friend has given birth last Friday,
& I passed my minum air gula test with flying colours.
But of course, they're gonna make me do it again soon.
I could talk about Australia but there's not much left to do at this stage.
There's only visa left to apply for,
& the hunt for good shoes for Hilwa.
Lin, I know you read this,
I checked both featherdale & scenic world online ticketing,
& they both charge extra ($0.50 for featherdale per ticket, & $4.50 booking fee for scenic world).
Call me kedekut but I don't feel like spending 50 cents extra right now lol.
Plus I feel like I went slightly overboard when I changed for AUD.
So prolly gonna buy on the spot using my cash,
Or very veryyyy close to the trip nanti.
But if you wanna buy first go ahead!
What else?
I'm feeling really restless lately.
Hilwa is sleeping now & I've gone from being set on buying expensive shoes for her online,
To not being able to make up my mind of what colour I like,
To looking for cheaper options,
To eating,
& now blogging.
Hilwa's asleep btw, if that explains anything.
This is what happens when babies take a longer nap than they usually do.
Mommies go nuts.
What does all this have to do with turning 27?
I have no idea.

A good feeling.

I feel like picking up on the whole harry potter themed wraps things.
I already have a diso la mengada betul.
It has always been an emerald green rebung,
From the moment I laid my eyes on it when I first joined all these baby wearing groups on fb.
Don't need no custom marauder's map or any of that nonsense.
Oh I can just picture myself with a neat little front wrap cross carry all silver & emerald,
Arriving at the harry potter studios thing in London.
6 months is old enough for a human being to go to London right?
I somehow feel it has to be next year.
While baby is still small enough to be tied up & possibly just sleep the whole time.
Coz in 2017 baby will be around hilwa's age now & omg I just can't deal.
She's so buas right now I'm speechless.
But I don't know.
Call me nuts,
But I've got a good feeling about London with a 6 month old tied onto me & a 2 & half year old in her beloved stroller.
Then I can focus on raising them in peace.
& probably do Santorini for our silver anniversary or something lulz.
Sans baggage!

Updates macam-macam

I've got 15 minutes to type real fast!
(When you're a housewife, your life is dictated by the timer on the washing machine. Just, you know, FYI)
Omg it's March.
I can't rest til I post my wish list lol!
Basically I don't have any this year.
Just for my family to be healthy & happy.
I need sneakers & AUD for the Sydney trip so cash is welcome anytime if anyone is wondering haha.
Anyways, update since my last dengue related post,
My brother & sis in law got admitted,
So my mum was looking after their kids on in addition to my sister's kids coz she was in India.
Then my mum got sick & got admitted too.
Yeap, from dengue.
So she wasn't around for a whole week so I got a taste of (some very light) cooking,
Keeping the house in order,
Picking Layla up from school,
You know, real housewife stuff lol.
But all is well now.
Everyone's back & discharged & resting & Insyaallah healthy.
I'm just tired.
I've been falling asleep everywhere.
Macam baru-baru pregnant pulak.
Dead tired, semalam mabuk sampai muntah.
Mengidam toksah cite la lol.
I don't know.
I'm just taking life one day at a time now.
But it's March so each day brings me closer to the 17th teehee