Game plan.

Writing this game plan down here coz it's the only place I feel comfortable blabbing on about brainless things.
So the Daiesu octogram wrap is being released tmrw,
God knows how much a size 6 would cost but I kinda have a feeling it's gonna be slightly more expensive than previous daiesus.
But the thing is I'm so lazy when it comes to breaking in wraps.
Kena wash then steam iron then braid then sit on & not to mention must wrap wrap wrap.
Nah I don't think I wanna go through that.
Plus right now I'm actually very happy with my TSF.
On the other hand I'm still having trouble with the COK ring sling being too slippery,
& at the same time there's this nice looking 100% cotton b&w kokadi stars that's perfect for lenjan-ing up for sale,
& she's offering to chop for a ring sling too for a reasonable price.
So I guess the smart thing to do is to go for this ring sling,
Let Izzaz outgrow the TSF,
Then when people start selling off their used (& halfway broken in octagram) I'll get those.
So Linsayang, my dearest bride to be bestie,
I proudly announce I already have the wrap for your wedding lol.

Like what else do I even talk about?

I feel like talking about more useless things tonight.
So I think by now I can safely say Izzaz just wasn't born perfect for babywearing like Hilwa was.
This guy leans everywhere like the bloody tower of Pisa.
He's also already 5.4kg & I'm sure that's way more than what Hilwa weighed at 2 months.
The handwoven ring sling, being a plain weave, has gotten really slippery whenever I wear him.
Which is pretty weird coz I actually wore Hilwa in it back when I first bought it to the pasar ramadhan & all & that thing held up like a dream.
So I guess that's why I say this guy is just not a very good wearee lol.
I don't know if I should be looking for a new ring sling,
Something with a fancier weave or just more textured & grippy.
But in order to be able to afford a new thing I gotta let go something first,
& I can't sell the ring sling without a replacement,
& worse, finding out I dont actually like the new one as much as this current one.
Wouldn't it be easier if Ikhwan just gives me like a monthly babywearing gear allowance or something?
Teehee.
& somehow the emerald rebung obsession is starting to bother me again sigh.
Ooooh that reminds me.
There's this turkish towel green&gray ring sling currently up for trade with a toddler ssc & I'm seriously considering giving up my tula.
But of course right now I'm like noooo I need that for those emergency moments when Hilwa is acting out.
I just hope I don't regret it the moment it's gone.

Drones.

Listening to Drones & I've decided to write a running commentary of sorts.
I'm currently at The Handler & realized that if all the songs, so far, get their lyrics removed I'd totally dig this album.
There are moments in this song that brings out some Absolution feel.
& one of the previous songs has some Resistance feel.
They're not bad really,
But I'm really tired of this robot army, mind control, apocalyptic world war theme.
Give a girl some love songs please.
Like Resistance for example, even though it was based on 1984 but it was a beautiful love song.
So yeah.. there's still the closing half of the album to listen to,
But these are my thoughts so far.
Maybe I'll give the lyrics a read next & see how that goes.
Oh & I also realized that at 27 it actually takes more than heavy guitar riffs to tickle my fancy lol.

No love for linen?

So this week was my turn to host the travelling Indio.
It's an orangey 60% cotton 40% linen wrap.
First impression: stiff!
Since Hilwa was nearest to me, I immediately wrapped her.
Despite her willingness, settling straight into the front carry position, I found it pretty difficult to wrap with.
I don't know if it was because of her weight,
Or the Indio weave making it grippy,
Or the linen part of it,
But I just couldn't get Hilwa high enough & to tighten properly.
The sloppiness of my wrap job made her feel so heavy on my shoulders.
& if I remember correctly, the stiffness made it feel diggy.
So I put her down & tried with Izzaz.
As usual he wouldn't settle down, he's a natural born leaner.
Normally I have to wrap him, rock him to sleep, then retighten.
But even the first round of tightening he was already making noises.
I'm guessing the linen is rough against his skin.
& as with Hilwa, I just couldn't get him high & tight enough.
I still have until Thursday,
Maybe we'll give it another go & see what happens.
But as for now, there's just no love for this wrap.
It's been sitting in the bag it came in at the corner of Izzaz's cot,
& it's an Indio for God's sake!
I'm just not excited to even take it out & admire it's beauty.
But now I'm curious about all cotton high contrast Indios (black & white & the likes).
Wondering where I can get my hands on one just for the sake of trying.
Then maybe we can get over Indios for good?

*Added at 2340hrs
Just tried it again with both babies.
I was more prepared with Izzaz this time,
He's in long sleeves & long pants,
At least he didn't cry this time.
But I wore him sekejap je, didn't wait to see if he'd fall asleep.
Then wrapped Hilwa in.
She immediately yawned then fought out of it.
This wrap is definitely thin.
It folds much smaller & I can feel the weight difference compared to my TSF.
But I still love the fish's soft, smooth & fluffy-ness.
So yeap.. still no love for linen.
The diggy-ness is still there, tightening Hilwa is such a struggle.
I'd say this wrap would be perfect for a 5 month old weighting around 7 kg.
Izzaz is too lembik & fragile for it while Hilwa is too heavy.
& that's enough of me rambling on about a piece of cloth kthxbye.

Getting to know you.

Izzaz has been more alert & responsive these past couple of weeks.
He can focus on faces & respond to sounds by smiling & cooing.
Super cute, I'm like obsessed (& of course Hilwa is jealous).
I'm also starting to understand him as a person.
On top of his 6pm mandi ritual that he's had since birth, really,
Where he'd get restless & fussy around 5.30pm onwards & will only settle down once I've wiped him down & change his clothes,
Now he is really tak tahan sejuk.
Polar opposite of Hilwa who literally sweats in her sleep in aircond,
This guy will be all menggelupur & muntah & restless.
Yesterday I actually bundled him up in Hilwa's sweater & he fell sound asleep almost immediately.
Usually I'd just switch the aircond off for him but yesterday was exceptionally hot.
But overall he's a good natured baby alhamdulillah,
Much like his sister.
Doesn't cry that much, only needs me for milk & to keep him clean,
The occasional cuddles.
Most of the time he'll fuss only when Hilwa decides to pull his blanket off of him lol.
But of course, never leave him in a cold room.

A good mum.

But what about mum's happiness?
All I want is for the toys you're not playing with to be in order,
For you to stay put when you have your meals so you don't drop crumbs all over the house,
For my room to be tidy,
For me to be able to put a box of tissue & newborn essentials by my bedside without you playing with everything.
& for you to go to sleep on time so I get some quiet moments to myself so I can unwind a bit.
Is that too much to ask?
Though of course people will start saying savour these moments, they grow up too fast, bla bla bla.
I don't ask for much, give me half an hour & I'll start looking for them without being ask.
Ok end rant.

Be.

I'm craving for, of all things, peace & quiet.
Hilwa was asleep earlier (didn't nap as usual),
& as I was just about to lay down for some me time, she woke up (of course).
Now Izzaz is asleep but she's on YouTube all loud & annoying.
I can't concentrate on my book,
I feel like listening to music but I know the sight of my mp3 player & especially my headphones will intrigue her.
I'm so tired of scrolling through my phone.
I just want to be kids.
Please go to sleep & let me be T.T