Golden Scissors, after all these years.

arghh! macam best pulok rambut straight neh! (yes, i know it's not exactly straight, but i like it like this. i specifically said "taknak straight sangat ok?")

RM20 well spent. the urut kepala session was worth it enough. 3 kali minah tu buang buih dalam sink kot. gila lama dia main rambut. haihh~

so sekarang dah tahu mana nak pergi untuk rambut straight yang bukan papan-ish dan tak membuatkan kepala nampak macam anorexic (yes, since my face is long & thin, if i straighten my hair, i'll look like my head shrunk about 3 inches.)

ni yang terasa gatal nak try relaxing seluruh kepala ni. ohh nicky will have a field day.

2 down, 3 to go.

manaaaa nehh ongoing marks?! kata mahu email. tipu nehhh. pastu message orang "sorry for causing any stress due to the wrongly calculated marks". aku lagi stress weh ongoing marks aku manaaaa?!

ok habis sesi monolog dalaman.

damn dah jumaat ke? inilah satu exam week yang sangat pantas berlalu. bermula dengan utp trip yang sepatutnya aku gunakan untuk waktu study. balik hari ahad penat&angau gila so start study hari isnin pukul 3 petang. paper adalah hari selasa pukul 9 pagi. syabas. oh, dan paper seterusnya adalah rabu pukul 2 petang. syabas dua kali.

sedar-sedar dah jumaat. dah lupa diri balik. next paper isnin petang. berlagak gila kata paper tu kacang kuda je. hari-hari online. mentang-mentang ridhwan kasi pinjam laptop. bangun online, study online, tidur online. study tak jugak. awak nak start study hari ahad pukul 3 petang jugak ke hilyah? hey jangan macam-macam.

dahlah.. at least pergi gosok gigi okay.

270410

1 down, 4 more to go.

semangat, mana kau menghilang?

inspirasi, tiada.

drive, tiada.

kemahuan juga seakan-akan tiada.

yang tinggal hanya bunyi-bunyi pelik; jumbled up, berselang-seli, tenggelam timbul; dalam otak.

bukak past year tengok soalan, can't even place which chapter it's from.

gahhh parah!

how now, brown cow?

of all places to find you.

the fact that i cry & get depressed everytime i see you.

the fact that i let myself get so absorbed in Muse, just to keep your memory alive.

the fact that i still remember every inch, every detail of your physique.

like your hair, your eyebrows & eyes, your fingers, how you look from the side, how you look from the back, your expressions (especially the so very memorable ones. it's like mental-picturekeeping is actually real & you can make copies of it).

the fact that you were, are & will always be important to me.

the fact that when i saw traces of you, an unguarded moment of laughter; your laugh, i was unimaginably happy, unimaginably relieved to see you in flesh after so long.

so screw the fact i still don't understand why i feel so strongly towards you.

maybe this is some sort of an explanation to it.

saya tahu the Forces of the Universe agrees with me on this. sebab kalau tidak, kenapa lagu itu nak keluar of all times kan?

have to have to have to get this down now!

it's like my birthday came later.

it's like seeing you again, alive, breathing, smiling.

it's like finally being understood.

it's like a one-on-one with an idol.

it's like everything music can ever make you feel.

& the fact it's 3.51am don't matter at all :)

utp menanti :P

i woke up & heard sounds from downstairs. then remembered my dad is home from johor. he likes to listen to the classic rock station on astro when he's at home.

i came down to the sight of him ironing. cute right?

then Hey Jude came on, & i swear to god i almost teared up. instead i ran upstairs to text lin.

honestly, last year when i couldn't go to utp for lula's convo, viva la vida came on the radio. & keep in mind, i listen to the radio very, VERY rarely.

so yes. i am GOING tomorrow! :D

honest thoughts II

honestly, aku tak paham kenapa orang have a general idea that when one is studying, especially for a tertiary education, then that person has no worries, no troubles & takkan penat langsung.

the generally perceived life cycle is like this. we grow up, & when we're 6 or 7 we start going to school. some even start at 4 or 5. at this age, sampailah we're 12 it's understandable that kita balik penat, pagi petang pergi sekolah, no one would bug us unless its to suruh us buat kerja sekolah. then we move on to secondary & life is basically the same. then we get into that stage of lepas spm before university, where we get all the freedom in the world. ni lah time nak rosak, nak putus cinta frust menonggeng, nak hisap dadah segala.

& the moment we get into university we are regarded as being grown up, but at the same time having the best time of our lives, sampai kalau kite merungut assignment banyak, penat pergi kelas balik study esok test submission quiz semua ada, mintak nak manja dengan orang/mengelat sikit nak malas-malas bila ada free time, mesti kena marah "aku pergi kerja pagi sampai petang, tengok-tengok kau kat rumah tidur aja kerja/nak bagi aku masalah mintak attention/suruh buat kerja sikit pun tak boleh harap".

apa sangat yang ada dengan working life yang teruk sangat compared to studying life? kauorang kena commute pergi balik kerja sangkut dalam jam pagi petang? students pun. kauorang kena concentrate kat kerja melambak-lambak? students pun. tapi kauorang ada ke test 1, test 2, test 3? kauorang ada ke assignment selang sehari? ok fine maybe kitaorang boleh ponteng kelas (agak) suka hati, tapi banyak-banyak pun kena bar jugak. & fair lah, ada lecturer sempoi, ada yang rasa macam nak rejam je. samalah macam boss kauorang kan?

jadi, bagi sesiapa yang pernah kerja/intern/melalui apa-apa jua pengalaman bekerja, honestly lah.. teruk sangat ke kerja sampai bila balik rumah nak maki-maki orang bastard dan sebagainya?

psst: kalau dah penat sangat, berhenti la kerja. takpun, carik orang gaji. sekian terima kasih.

honest thoughts

starlight live in singapore 2010. :) atau :'(?

yang aku tau, aku sedang notice bermacam-macam benda menarik sepanjang Muse perform lagu ni bila tengok balik today, semata-mata sebab masa kat singapore indoor stadium hari tu, aku sedang duduk teresak-esak. tapi perasaan "tsk, can't believe i missed that" tu tak datang. sebab honestly, part duduk teresak-esak itulah yang mengcompletekan the whole trip & the whole experience.

dah lama tak teresak-esak, no? haritu pun kau datang terlalu brief. apa lagi.. datang lah lagi :P

hamboiii berlagak.

you're not helping with the workload & the headache.

honestly, kalau kau sentiasa nak aku buat itu, buat ini, pergi situ, pergi sini, why did you ask me to pursue a degree in the first place? sebab orang yang buat degree banyak assignments, tests & commitment-commitment lain. especially saat-saat terakhir before finals like this.

haihh, i guess this is why kids bask in the opportunity of renting & not stay at home >.<"

shushh, Hati. jangan nak macam-macam.

there's just something about seeing this virtual creature sleeping. pulls at my heartstrings. hahah i know, i know.

april, seperti biasa, adalah bulan crunch time. for the past 2 weeks (i think?) there's always been something to do everyday.. seperti assignments, preparing for presentations, studying for tests & paling menyampah sekali, siapkan take home test. pfft. honestly, as compared to assignments/take home tests yang kononnya give us more time to do our very best yang take daaaays to complete, i'd rather do a 2-hour test & have it done with there & then.

hence, this is why i haven't been blogging. because every time i attempt to do so, i end up complaining. so.. we'll leave it til after the 16th (when hopefully SEGALA kerja-kerja sudah settle dan submit, & i'll only have 5 3-hour papers to deal with in the span of 13 days. that's not so bad kan? :D)

this is torture!

lady gaga's (bukan lady gago ye kawan-kawan) heartbeats headphones are back at over here! priced at rm199 only nooooooooooooo~

belated birthday present, anyone? please...