So done with this pregnancyyy

Raya dah.
Balik kampung kenduri kak ima dah.
Potong rambut dah.
Packing emergency bag utk aku, Ikhwan & Hilwa dah.
Everyday is sort of like a cross off of my checklist.
I'm beginning to feel impatient.
Bukak instagram ke tab kanta besar tu pastu belek orang upload gambar newborn.
Bukan tak sabar nak jadi mother of two,
More of like dah penat heartburn & menunggu dgn bayangan pelbagai scenario dalam kepala lol.
Paling aku risau is nak tinggal Hilwa the (hopefully only) one night that I have to spend in the hospital.
During the day asal ada tab & botol dia she's fine,
Tapi malam dia still carik bubis untuk tidur & also in her sleep.
Kesian whoever yg kena jaga dia nanti, confirm kena berdodoi berejam.
Especially kalau in laws yg kena jaga dia,
Ye ye je haritu planning nak train dia sleepover sana bagai,
Kelaut.
In the hypnobirthing book ada dia sebut I have to deal with any sort of fear or issues that worries me.
Sebab kerisauan ni mungkin akan surface during labour & kacau concentration nanti.
Right now Hilwa is my biggest worry & I don't know how to deal with it other than redah je bila dah jadi.
I tell you, us stay at home moms sembang je lebih,
Menyampah dgn anak la, nak rebus buat sup la,
Last2 sebenarnya kitorang yg lagi clingy compared to the child lol.
According to my pregnancy app there's 19 days left to my due date.
It feels like aaaaages.
I hope this impatience is a sign that labour is happening sooner rather than later huu.

36w2d

I don't know if it means anything,
But I'm super restless tonight.
I'm obsessing over things I should pack in my emergency bag,
Which I haven't even started even though my nurse told me to do it like weeks ago.
Not to mention I also need to pack a bag for Hilwa because she will most likely be sent to my in laws when I'm in labour.
It's not helping that I haven't done my packing for balik kampung as well.
I've gone as far as putting my things & Hilwa's in a bakul but that's it.
Ikhwan hasn't picked out his stuff so if I start putting anything into a bag I know I'll only end up taking it back out to rearrange once his stuff gets added to the pile.
So that's one whole big bag of balik kampung stuff for 3 people,
Plus one emergency bag for me & baby in case I go into labour on the highway lol,
& a carry on in the car for Hilwa's milk stuff & snacks for the journey.
Yes packing stresses me out.
Oh & I also need to adjust to new spects because my old one decided to fail me of all times, right before a balik kampung trip & just weeks before I give birth.
So now I have new spects using my old power for the lenses,
I hope after I give birth & recheck my eyesight I don't need to get new lenses pulak.
Sheesh.
& let's hope all this stress & worry doesn't send me to labour lol

Thoughts on this stupid movement.

You know,
It's actually not a bad idea to get familiar with this whole anti vax thing,
So that we know who exactly to avoid,
Or the kind of crowds to avoid,
Places, countries, things like that, to avoid.
I'm growing so paranoid.
I'm delivering soon & what happens to this baby in the next 1.5 years of its life until it completes all vaccinations is pretty much out of my control.
The only comfort I can offer myself is at least by wearing the baby I limit physical contact with people & especially strangers.
Yes, I'm talking about babywearing again, sue me.
But oh god if it were up to my paranoid self we'd stay indoors our whole life.
I think I find posts about pertussis/whooping cough like daily on my newsfeed now.
It's not even funny.