7 days to go.

i just realized it's exactly a week to fai's nikah day (or should i say night?)

i remember when yaya got married.

kak gayah kept telling me i'm going to feel a loss.

macam ada orang ambik kakak kita, she said.

but that feeling never came.

not because i don't love her, no.

but because rumah dia sekangkang kera kot (hahah!)

i think she spends more time in our house than in hers.

especially bila pregnant-pregnant ni.

& fai.. well..

he hasn't even found a house yet.

which probably means he's staying in after.

tak tahulah kalau dia dengan zura ada plan lain, but i don't think so.

but what's getting to me is the dream i had of him & i last night.

even though mimpi tu sangat tak masuk akal, because we're really good kids *ehem ehem*

(i dreamt that we were snorting coke together. wtf kan? kitorang baik gila kot)

but it highlights the kind of relationship we have.

& him being the boy, i don't know if he would come back home as often as yaya does.

lagi-lagi kalau dia jadi berhijrah ke 'loq staq.

ah well..

people say try chopping water & it will never severe. (eh ces!)

ni kalau fai baca ni mesti dia kata i'm one sappy little bitch.

lantak pi!

so i have been a closet anwar hadi fan for a while now.

tak kisah la mamat tu lahir tahun 90 ka apa ka (damn man.. kalau cakap pasai dia kena slang kedah)

he speaks good english

& he speaks an even better kedah

jadi hari ni aku pun jumpa la website baru dia (baru kot kan.. dia kata baru).

inianwarhadi.com <-- for future reference

senang cheq nak stalking.

haha what's best is he watches shit my dad says too! (macam mana aku tau? haa itulah quality stalker sebenar :D)

dah dah.. apa ni blog post yang pointless ni?

i guess in a way mainstream, overplayed songs on radio does serve a (big) purpose.

that is to bring back fond memories,

& most importantly, forgotten feelings

at the most random moment.

like how Nickelback's Someday is doing now.

no specific date, no specific event, no specific memory.

just fond, soft & silky stuff.

pastu mula lah gatal nak dengar Avenged Sevenfold lah apa bagai.

hep! itu dah di luar kategori "no specific date, event & memory" ye.

musical education

semalam pergi tengok Bugs Bunny at the Symphony dekat DFP. (if you're reading this, thanks Dd!)

it was a real eye opener.

kenapa aku cakap macam tu?

sebab dari kecik lagi aku dah tengok looney tunes punya cartoons.

(believe it or not, there's 1500 of them)

& aku pernah even buat dia punya theme song tu jadi message tone aku.

but i've failed to realize that all of the sounds, the music in these cartoons are actually recorded with a fullblown orchestra group.

& not to forget, all these songs are actually famous classical ones from known composers kot.

like the blue danube (one of the songs they played semalam yang aku kenal la. nak cerita semua, wa jahil).

macam apa the conductor cakap semalam,

where usually these cartoons tak ada dialog,

rather they use sound effects & certain instruments to be the dialog.

aku macam.. betul dohhh! now that i think of it.

you get exactly what the characters are trying to say,

yet not a word is spoken.

macam characters such as the roadrunner tu.

all she (or is it a he?) ever said was 'beep beep'.

tapi sound effects tu sampai.. paham pulak apa maksud dia.

amazing.

& to make kids understand? super amazing.

it was such an experience.

watching episodes after episodes of looney tunes cartoon accompanied by a live orchestra.

rasa macam nak juling mata atas bawah sebab cartoon nak tengok, orchestra pun nak tengok.

sekarang rasa macam nak carik semua looney tunes cartoon yang warner bros pernah buat.

sumpah aku cakap, the appreciation dah jadi lain sekarang ni.

beautiful.

There are certain things that take some time to make sense.
To fully digest & understand.
& maybe some pemangkin.
Like for tonight's case, a collection of sappy songs & a mahjong game.
It fully makes sense to me now.
& i now see the ridiculousness of everything, especially when it comes to my past reasonings & reactions.
but that's not to say it never hurt & shouldn't have hurt.
Oh, it hurts alright.
But at least it's logical & not baseless.
Enough of digressions.
I see now.
& with clarity, it should be easier to deal with.

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there's no denying.

crying to the laptop is not fun.

not fun at all.

the last few days.

from potato bun & maggi in a classroom with no (real) lecturer

to carbonara with the family

to sharing chocolate cake with the classmates

& an extra spicy, red-in-the-face tomyam campur,

this is a good kind of ending.

:)

terakhir.

so lu pikir cool la update blog 10 hari sekali? huh, lya? punk?!

damn.

i can't remember the last time i got to sleep puas-puas macam tadi.

(aku bgn kul 6.30ptg. no judging, pls)

i'm tired of coughing & being sick.

but, alas, last week of semester. haihh..

honestly, mixed feelings.

first & foremost, MALAS.

i feel like screwing whatever last assignment/presentation/test crap that i have for next week.

sudah-sudahlah. wa penat.

second, HAPPY.

dah nak habis, yeay!

no more of all this crap. the bangun pagi, scramble nak pergi kelas, berebut naik bus, assignment, tak cukup tidur, quiz, test, kelas sejuk sangat & everything associated to uitm shah alam.

last but not least, SAD.

it hit me hard few days ago while i was brainstorming in my favourite place (hint: the toilet) that there will never be all of the above-mentioned annoyance anymore.

& most importantly, there will no more be us just hanging out in class, gelak terbahak-bahak kat busstop, pergi balik locker ambik barang, wasting time in the library.

there will no more be written conversations on our tables.

there will no more be.

aku pun dah tak tahu apa nak tulis.

thoughts all over the place.

i know i have vowed to make the most of my last week.

i shall.