2018 recap.

Might as well start on my 2018 recap.
This is in no specific order, just off the top of my head.
Turned 30.
Registered Hilwa for school, first time year end back to school shopping & got added into a class WhatsApp group #makjakun.
Spent 3 weeks in Singapore, which is perhaps the longest I've ever been away from home ever.
Celebrated Ikhwan's birthday in PD with the in laws.
Mama retired! Been enjoying home cooked food & a more relaxed & rested mama for almost two months now. Alhamdulillah at one point I was actually worried we might not get here huhu.
Got roses for my birthday. I think it's the second time ever I got flowers from Ikhwan. The first was during our engagement.
Finally found baking enjoyable. Well, I don't really remember if this happened this year or last but I can now say I have a pantry stocked with the basics & can throw a brownie together in a moment's notice. Didn't help that I constantly have desserts in the fridge though, which leads to my next point...
I'm the heaviest I've ever been outside of a pregnancy ever. It doesn't sound so bad when I say I've finally gained 10 kilos since I got married 6 years ago, but then about half of that weight I gained in this year alone. There's something about turning 30, I can literally feel my body becoming sluggish, creaky & my metabolism becoming shit.
It's not helping that Izzaz finally stopped breastfeeding. I really gotta start exercising seriously.
Oh yeah Hilwa also permanently went off the diaper earlier this year. She's been awesome, was wetting her bed for a while but then like magic she just stopped. We just have to be on guard on cold days or when she's really, really tired but otherwise I can only think of 2 accidents for the last 8 months or so.
Izzaz has also started sleeping in the kids' room with Hilwa these past few days. He doesn't really spend the whole night there but it's nice enough getting a few hours of peace, finally sleeping in the normal position on our queen bed (we've been sleeping horizontally for God knows how long coz the 2 kids refuses to sleep elsewhere).
Hmmm what else...
No new additions to either side of the family.
A few friends became first time parents, Wan is pregnant again. We've given up meeting outside, mostly going to Wan's house & foodpanda-ing lunch or having potluck at home with Ika & Sina. I never knew I could enjoy entertaining people at home lol.
I can't think of anything else for now but will always add if something pops up.
Added on 3rd Jan: I just remembered this is also the year where I learned about MRKH. Helped my brother's friend with her research by transcribing her interviews & between what was said in those audio files & researching for the correct terms/spelling for these new words I'm hearing, I ended up quite enlightened on the matter. Even did a little reading in my own time because I was so intrigued. Goes to show we really have no idea what people are going through in life. & this condition is not even that rare, it happens to 1 in 5000 females. I can definitely say I learnt something new in 2018.

Revelation.

I always put my day into a list of things I've accomplished.
The most I spend time doing is sorting the kids every day,
Which when the tasks are put together seem to be so little,
Feed, bathe, feed, play, bathe, feed, go back to sleep.
But why do I spend so much time on it?
Why do some days get so bad that I don't even manage to do anything else like tidy up the house or fold laundry?
& then today I realize,
That perhaps 90% of my time is spent saying 'hurry up, cepat, come let's go, can we please ____ first...'
& today that realization made me so damn exhausted lol.
It's 1435hours, I finally have some time to go shower.

Parade.

I haven't missed you in a loooong time.
Not the conscious, yearning, suffocating type anyways.
But I could never pass August unscathed.
& this morning I woke up & reached for my phone & started searching for videos of the parade.
I could say Merdeka is my favorite memory of you,
But honestly they are all my favorite.
& I'm not saying this because it's all I have of you now.
From the very start, from the first time I saw you, which I remember with such clarity it's mind boggling,
Before I knew who you really were & before you grew into who you'd mean to me,
I've always known you were made to be special compared to everyone else.
If I was any wiser I'd have known too that the special ones are always taken first.
So... Until the next Merdeka where I'd hopefully have mama to cry with me watching the parade,
& I'd stop feeling like I need to explain myself everytime lol.
& last but not least, a little reminder.
Dear future Hilyah,
For a good cry,
'Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang'

Thankful.

Meeting school friends last weekend at a wedding made me reflect a lot these past few days.
Mainly on how I grew up telling everyone my ambition was to be a full-time housewife.
Yeap, totally living the dream now.
(Thank you Sarv, for remembering that about me & for enthusiastically shaking my husband hand while congratulating him for giving me the dream life I've always wanted)
I remember coming up with that answer because I hated being asked that question by teachers since standard one.
The first answer I ever thought of was to be a stewardess,
Because I thought they were pretty & got to travel the world & I had an aunt who's a stewardess.
It's also a fancy, very specific word like doctor or engineer or teacher that everyone seems to come up with with such passion.
Then I was told by my dad that it's not a good career choice, that they have to dress sexy & he didn't want his daughter to grow up that way.
So I switched to teacher because no one seems to question you too much on wanting to become a teacher.
Honestly, I've never grew up with a passion for one specific thing.
I knew you have to get good grades to get a job because you need money as an adult.
& 'jobs' intrigued me, going into the office & doing paperwork & getting paid every month.
It honestly didn't click until I was doing my diploma that these 'jobs' were all businesses.
Honestly, even the government.
Every single company is about generating a revenue.
& that's when I was so thankful my mother knew me well enough to egg me towards accountancy, which then led to finance.
But let's backtrack a little to high school when teachers start to demand a little bit more conviction behind these ambitions they keep on asking every year.
All I knew at that point was I wanted to grow into an adult.
Just to be cheeky I started making 'housewife' as my go to answer.
Yeah I got a lot of questioning on it,
But I'm Anak Bates so I pretty much got away with everything in high school lol.
The point is that, I've only just realized what I stand for in life.
I've never seen a specific career as a be all and end all.
Thanks to my parents, I got educated with the most versatile degree & can pretty much get hired in every single company that exists.
Personally I think I'm nailing the task of assisting my husband with his salary, investments, taxes, expenses & utilities.
I'm into this shit, I don't just own a degree in keeping an entity running on a daily, monthly, yearly basis, I've understood since forever this is how an adult should function lol.
& I feel like it's made me accepting to my roles in life too.
Like I'm totally content with staying at home with the kids because I can't picture it any other way.
I don't have regrets waking up every day thinking it's another day lost in not pursuing a career or earning my own paycheck.
I don't count the amount of money I could be making & lamenting over not owning a home.
(& to be perfectly honest I do not see owning a home as a black & white thing. It's just not the right time for us now, & I'm fine if I don't end up owning one ever. Because one, it's scary to make such an expensive & permanent decision that affects your whole entire life & I do not want to rush it & then be financially burdened by it, & two because if everyone buys multiple houses as an investment to rent it out, like what's so on trend right now, who's gonna rent them? We're in a renters market right now & I don't see it changing in a loooong time, I do not feel like I'm losing anything at all. I've been told a few times how a house is an investment which you can sell later on should you need money, & how renting is basically pouring money down the drain because you get nothing out of it at the end. But really, selling a house doesn't happen overnight. The process isn't cheap either. With ownership comes wear & tear & having to have money to fix it up. Then the yearly taxes, and maintenance fees if you choose to go the condo lifestyle, & not to mention you end up paying 200% the value of the house on the interest alone at the end of your mortgage. Plus if you think about it, isn't food pouring money down the drain too? You pay money in order to eat them then it turns to shit which you flush down the toilet so yeah. As a business student I accept the fact some things are just costs in life. The point is to keep these costs affordable according to your earnings every month)
So I'm just writing all of this down today as a reminder to myself to be as supportive to my kids in the future.
Yes, it's great if they find a passion & live on to make a fantastic career out of it,
But there's nothing wrong in just growing up to be an adult.
I should keep in mind to get to know them as well as my parents knew me,
& to give them enough knowledge so that they'll survive.
I know a lot of people who don't have the choice to live their life as freely as I do,
& I can't be thankful for my parents enough every day.
Aaaand yes of course I gotta thank my husband for excelling at being the sole breadwinner & supportive of the idea of me staying & home & still making allowances for sushi dates once in a while. (yes, I forgot to thank him & yes he told me to do it)

Trolls & Vampires.

I was taken by surprise after watching a movie called 'Newness' yesterday,
When the end credits rolled with a 'For Anton'.
He wasn't in the movie, but it was directed by the same guy who did Like Crazy.
& I thought it was really sweet of him.
For Antons really get to me somehow.
I don't know why he's so dear to me, but he's everywhere.
Anyway, naturally tonight I'm up after everyone's asleep & going through Trollhunters stuff.
It's good to know there are people who are affected by him too.
Who holds on to his voice, who cried listening to his Hero speech at the end of season 3.
(Which I really really really want to keep a copy of, but like why isn't anyone posting that specific scene on YouTube? No I'm too lazy to go record it myself like I did with Newness yesterday)
I'm at the risk of going back outside & rewatching the whole series again right now honestly.
But what got me here instead is reading many comments on how Jim's transformation into a troll left them feeling a sense of loss,
& it transported me right back to being 17 & reading Darren Shan for the first time & crying buckets from the moment he started bidding farewell to his family until his funeral was over.
I cannot describe how devastated I was that he knew for a fact he's never seeing his family again, & leaving with a stranger who's a freaking vampire, & he himself is a vampire & it's irreversible.
I was almost sick with grief.
But that all happened in book 1 of a 12-part series,
& even though Darren went through major crap in perhaps each book that follows,
You can't help but feeling that his sacrifice was worth it, at the end of it you don't even remember he was human to begin with.
& I guess that's what's missing with Trollhunters,
We don't get the part where he faces the repercussions of his choice, of growing into the person he was forced to become, & then becoming a better person because of it.
Maybe instead of watching Trollhunters again, I should just read Darren Shan, yet again, for closure.
Anyways, if you're lost after reading this, it's probably coz I'm typing this out simply because I can't talk to Ikhwan right now, who'd be so pissed if I woke him up just to talk about Anton lol.

Bad idols.

Being a housewife meant I have an abundance of time, which I've spent a good portion of just reflecting on the choices I've made in the past.
Particularly, on how I've treated & even dismissed people just to get what I want in life.
Realizing how selfish my younger self was has been one of the biggest regrets in my life.
& it always puzzled me how I could have been so mean & believed it to be justified.
Until a recent stroke of fate which brought 2 Sweet Valley The Unicorn Club books into my possession.
I started reading it this morning, expecting to feel nostalgic & "what a great book this is, I'll make sure Hilwa reads it during her primary school years too".
But instead what I found what a hell no in every page.
Those 5 girls, who are supposedly the model of what best friends should be to young girls, are nothing but mean to each other.
They are purely selfish, scheming, never doing something kind for someone else without having an ulterior motive, & they talk bad about their friends behind their backs all the time.
Also, letting other people dictate what you wear, how you talk, how you dress, who you hang out with, under the pretense that they're your friends & "cares".
Oh god I really could go on & on.
Seriously, this is the book every girl was supposed to read at the age where they are learning about friendship & acceptable behavior?
No wonder I was such a bitch.
In high school, my best friend's boyfriend wanted to break up with her, I HELPED HIM PLAN HOW TO DUMP HER.
In primary school, there was a girl who was a bit on the awkward side, MY FRIEND AND I PRETENDED TO BE A POPULAR GUY ONLINE & CONFESSED TO HER because we thought it was funny.
Bad mouthing my own best friends to other people just to fit in/appear cool? DID THAT ALL THE TIME.
& these are just off the top of my head at 3 am.
Well I guess ow I know why, because those unicorn girls never had to face the consequences.
Sure they bicker with each other a lot, then the scene ends & starts up again somewhere else, & everyone was perfect.
But that's not how real life rolls. That's NEVER how real life rolls.
You really hurt people, you lose their trust, sometimes you lose a really good person. Forever.
I can't decide between finishing the book fast or putting it down after every page.
Reading it makes my skin crawl. The thoughts each girls have about their supposed best friend is just insane.
& what's with having a rich brat, who is most synonymous with the word 'snob', be sorta like a heroine that young girls should aspire to be.
I remember vividly, & very shamefully, my Unicorn Club phase during primary school, where I walked about school carrying a "handbag" & rolled my eyes at teachers who refused to let me go on a toilet break with a girlfriend.
I honestly don't remember how these books end, I'm foolishly hopeful there's some sort of moral-of-the-story shit at the end but I seriously doubt it.
Oh god. I don't want Hilwa to grow up this way & have the same regrets.
I know I should let her have her own experiences & memories & leave her to learn her own lessons.
But maybe I should start reading the books first before I let her read lol.
I wonder if she'd wanna have a discussion with me after finishing each book.
Is that cool mom or uncool people?
I'm this side of 30, I really can't tell anymore tiihii.

Skidamarink.

Bila kau dah tuck in anak kau for the night,
Tiba-tiba dia datang cari kau sebab nak potty,
Lepas itu sepanjang process potty, wash, pakai seluar balik dia dok repeat 'I love you Mama',
Seround lagu skidamarink,
& a 'good night, see you tomorrow'.
Mama crai.

Leaps & bounds.

I feel like I should be commemorating today's date but no worthy isi penting comes to mind.
I'm 29 years & 364 days old so that should be a big deal right?
Last day of my twenties,
Turning 3 series,
But honestly, whatevs.
I don't know if I'd still feel this way tomorrow but right now I'm just looking forward to celebrating my birthday but nothing specific about turning any certain number.
I'm not excited, I'm not dreading it, I'm just... Aging. Lol.
Aaanyways, I wrote a post half way about Hilwa's latest milestones but I didn't save it properly & it's gone.
Basically, on 16th February she finally pooped on the toilet.
Yes, it's a hell of an achievement & I'm immortalizing it here.
You won't believe how my entire family celebrated the occasion.
She got 3 presents.
Yes.
So, I think we gave her a few days of still wearing diapers to bed but then decided to sacrifice our sleep & wake her up every few hours to get her to pee on the toilet.
She's had a few accidents since then, but nothing too frequent.
Then first weekend of March we went balik kampung,
& I was nervous about the journey there,
Coz we departed early in the morning & the kids pretty much just sambung tidur in the car so I was nervous Hilwa might accident but she didn't.
I planned the trip with like a military precision, especially about the timing of our rest stops lol.
But she was perfect omg.
When we got to the hotel, we asked for a room with a queen bed n a single bed,
She walked in, saw the single bed, announce it was hers, & she followed through & slept in it till morning.
Two nights in Kedah & all the way back, perfect.
Then March 8th she decided she wanted to start sleeping in her own room at home.
So I shifted her bed out of our room & I asked her many times throughout the day but she was sure of her decision,
& she's been sleeping there every night since.
She takes a lot longer to go to bed every night,
The first 2 nights I was so sleep deprived,
& it didn't help that the 3rd night she fell asleep early otw back from my parent's house so when she woke up again at midnight Ikhwan just told me to go to sleep & he took the kids out to McD lol.
She's still finding her rhythm & routine with her new room but I love that she insists on sleeping there every night.
& these last few days she even manages to wake up & call us whenever she needs to go to the toilet.
She's suddenly growing so much in the past 1 month, I'm such a proud mama.
Ahh 30s, here's to less dependant kids & more me time hopefully lol.

I aint got time to think up a clever wordplay for this title.

Muse is amusing tonight.
It started with a post from their official FB page about a special photo frame of their latest single Thought Contagion.
& I'd say 93% of the replies on that page are just like nope.
One guy even went & said something like is this a test to see how easily manipulated everyone is?
Which brought me to the days of Muse being rebels,
Retaliating when forced to lip sync to Feeling Good,
& apparently they did exactly the same thing again with Uprising.
I'd like to believe back then if someone told them they need a FB photo frame as part of the marketing for their new single,
They'd just show them the middle finger.
I'd like to believe they fully understood & expect us, their fans, to not be the conforming type.
& now they're just... Sigh.
They expect us to upload a photo of us on Facebook with their fancy new single frame *facepalm
Went poking around YouTube & there's actually this guy who takes new crappy Muse songs & remixes or covers them & make it so much better.
Like legit he sounds more Muse than Muse does.
It's so sad.
So sad that there's literally a group that I belong to now,
Of old loyal fans.
We're still loyal to what Muse was, & hoping they'd come around.
I don't even know why I still bother about them.
Occasionally these moments happen & I just need to blog about it lol.

Kingfisher.

On the way balik kampung dalam kereta, I can't help but reminisce,
Masa kecik dulu, to keep us entertained during long trips in the car,
Mama abah invented a game which is to kira burung kingfisher along the highway.
Now that I'm grown up with kids on my own I can't help but marvel at the sheer genius of that.
Kingfisher is a small, bright blue bird with a rather large orange beak,
So it's really easy to spot bila dia bertenggek kat divider, cables or pagar tepi highway.
In a way it has taught me an appreciation for nature on top of a sense of purpose throughout the trip.
Yang bestnya kalau tertidur, nanti bila bangun mesti tanya mama dah berapa kingfisher?
& she would give a definite answer & we know she's not lying or making it up because both she & abah are semangatly counting lol.
Such a simple thing with a great impact.
I don't know if it's another perk of being a teacher's daughter or my parents are simply weird that way lol.
Nowadays kingfishers aren't that easy to spot anymore I do still find my eyes wandering among the greeneries.
I wonder if my own kids are as easily amused when they're bigger.

Three zero peeps.

Tahun ni tak up lagi wishlist birthday.
Mana boleh miss weh,
Mana tau ada pembaca setia yang nak bagi present tahun ni kan?
Lol honestly sometime earlier this month I had a whole philosophical post drafted in my head of what non-monetary blessings I wanted for my birthday,
But for the life of me I can't remember shit anymore.
Instead I'm gonna talk about my version of maturity.
I'm getting fat. My clothes don't fit quite as nicely anymore, & the scales tell me the same thing too, so it's a fact.
I told myself once I hit the six zero I'd start working out but my goddd working out means more clothes to wash everyday,
& honestly the weather isn't permitting too isn't it?
It's either too hot or it's raining lol.
So, Imara just shared with me a website where you can get gym passes,
She just went for a class in a new gym in Taman Tun which is so pretty,
So I thought that's a good idea, get me gym passes for my birthday.
Then my subconscious starting asking things like is it a mixed class & how would I feel, say, zumba-ing in front of guys?
Of course I mind.
I don't feel comfortable dancing or doing things that attract attention in public anymore.
You can be covered up in a telekung but it you start moving your body, it just doesn't look right.
& I'm not saying all this to be self-righteous.
No, I do feel limited.
I haven't been to the salon for the longest time because the two muslimah salons in my area I don't quite prefer,
& now I can't even bring myself to attend a free zumba session at Durian King.
I didn't even notice when my moral compass started to shift.
& we've strayed so far off the original topic of the post lol.
I've already told Ikhwan I want a biography of a one-and-a-half year old boy who died of cancer,
& I can't think of anything else I absolutely had to have.
I saw a History of Magic book some time ago & that's pretty cool.
I don't mind new clothes,
New walking shoes to replace the sketchers I bought before going to Sydney dulu,
Ooohhh I want a new couch for my house!
Ask me please, we've already picked out exactly which one we want from Ikea lol.
Ok dah I gotta go cook, seriously.
Yeah, I don't mind getting a live-in cook too.
Kthxbye

Playlist.

You know that video compilation of songs from our high school days that's going around Facebook?
"Songs former emo kids will always remember" is the headline.
Yeah almost every song is a vivid memory from somewhere,
As if my entire music collection isn't enough,
So it's not a wise decision to watch for a third time (I think).
But going through the comments section I found an even better headline,
"Songs that got you through high school because you didn't know what real problems were then"
Lolll now I'm kinda excited to go look all of it up & build a playlist.
Oh & love how so many people were pissed that The Used didn't make it into the list.
People, don't. Let's keep The Used that way.

Added:
Casually talking about music & then realizing I probably had these songs & so much more in the corrupted hard drive of my old laptop.
Le sigh.

Added again later:

So, 2 nights ago we finally watched Baby Driver,

& instead of being left craving for Ansel (yeah, sorta craving for Gus but as mentioned above, my copy of the movie perished along with my old laptop & I'm too lazy to act on it),

I was left craving for the whole of Nerdfighteria.

Finally has access to the TV & played the first Vlogbros video on their page,

& I have an existential crisis. From both of them.

Hank was talking about sidewalks, & John about bread, & I'm left glazed-eyed & staring into space lol.

Triggered.

After a pretty intense week of finishing a job for my brother's friend,
During which I was taken on an emotional journey of discovery & revelations & knowledge,
But sadly I don't think it's appropriate to discuss here because she's a doctor & the story is her patient's & not mine to tell,
No it's none of the 'me too' hoohaa nowadays don't worry,
It was just the realization of how diverse humans are, that's all.
Anyways, I digress.
After submitting my work last night, Ikhwan & I celebrated by watching Passengers.
It would have been a good story for me hadn't it been for the fact that from the very start I cannot brain a whole spaceship with 5,258 people on board travelling with absolutely no one awake.
But yeah, right from the moment Jim entered the cafeteria, I was like, shit this is district 13 & Katniss is waking up soon.
Now I'm craving for Hunger Games lol.
But reading the books or watching the movies for me is too intense.
Someone needs to invent like a VR thing that takes you on selected moments through out the journey.
Like, I wanna be in the woods with Gale right now before everything happens,
I wanna meet Cinna for the first time,
I wanna live in the Victors' Village for that short period of peace,
I wanna meet Finnick for the first time, then get to know the human side of him in the arena but without the fighting & the fighting-for-their-lives,
I wanna go shoot propos,
I wanna win Peeta back,
I wanna marry him & have his kids.
Yeah favorite parts summarized off the top of my head.
Someone go invent that now.
& I'm gonna go pretend I'm not freakishly attached to this story bye guys.

Feels so real.

Earlier today I announced to the world that I feel like I have aged into a Ravenclaw.
(By announcing to the world I meant tweeting it lol)
Then Hilwa requested her usual YouTube session watching Kidsline, a Japanese toys review channel of sorts.
This time they went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Osaka & got a wand each.
The boy got Harry's but I couldn't recognized the girl's (it's Fleur's),
So that made me start researching on whose wants do they actually sell as souvenir,
& instead I found out that these are interactive wands & there are spots around the theme park where you can actually cast spells.
Of course it doesn't take much to spark the fire within me to start doing something about saving up money & going there.
The pages & pages of wand pictures doesn't help.
One can't help but imagine oneself picking up the bone-white wand with it's claw-like hilt,
Caressing one's bald head as the surge of power-hungry madness floods in like a brain freeze,
& casting the first Avada Kedavra, remembering to mean it & feel it running down one's arms & out the wand in a flash of green.
Oh wait, I'm not supposed to feel like the Dark Lord anymore, am I?
Bah who am I kidding? Ravenclaw pfft.

Alternate.

The combination of last night's dream, Sing For Absolution & the wordings on an Instagram caption posted recently have me feeling peculiar today.
It's best described in malay, which is 'sayu'.
I don't know about you but now that I'm an adult I expected to feel different, grown, learned.
Instead I still feel like my fourteen year old self, & my fourteen year old self never planned this route I'm treading currently.
But it did & I'm still learning to accept that most of it is not even my fault.
No, none of it is my fault.
The thing I fight most in reminding myself perhaps every day is that kun fayakun.
Death is not my fault,
Choices is not my fault.
But then there are weak moments where I catch myself picturing an alternate universe where things go perfectly fine from the time I was fourteen & I grew into a grown person, a learned person, with no regrets.
Then the song changes & you march on with life.
Ahh nothing good ever comes out of listening to Muse.

2017.

I'm surprised I even feel like writing right now.
The kids are still up, hyper even.
Izzaz suddenly developed a fever last night, he crashed my breakfast date with Ikhwan this morning, puked all over himself on the way back.
Hilwa puked too after dinner.
Lost count the amount of plates I've washed.
Watched the fireworks from our bedroom window.
& I'm not like ecstatic of how I'm celebrating new year but it's more of like it's not a big deal.
I've done the bbq with friends, find the best spot to watch fireworks, attend a concert/party thing in the past & I don't need those anymore.
It'd be cool to have a bedroom with a better view of the fireworks though.
Bila ada rezeki, insyaAllah.
2017 I'd say has been a year of empowerment for me.
Making a living from selling tudung, something I didn't plan on doing but happened in the best way.
I didn't earn insane money but at least I didn't have to ask from my husband anytime I want to binge on a girl's day out.
Cooking & cleaning the house feels natural now.
I can finally say I'm a real homemaker instead of freeloading off my mum & still eating takeout lunch lol.
Had my first real emergency rush to the ER, stained with blood, witness Hilwa getting stitched.
& she also partially potty trained though she still insists she "can't do it" when I ask her to poop on the toilet.
I'm leaving that part to her & God seriously. We've tried everything short of giving her julap then locking her in the toilet.
& I don't know what else to say anymore.
Life is going at it's own steady rhythm.
In some parts it feels monotonous, like we've been living the same day for months,
But in other parts, with Izzaz's speech for example, he surprises us by advancing so much every day.
Oh & of course getting not one but two godbabies this year!
I've loved my own kids, my nieces & nephews,
But the love of my girlfriends' child has surprised me.
So let's start the official countdown to TokAna's retirement.
InsyaAllah, I pray for nothing but good health & rezeki for my whole entire family, in laws & loved ones.
Happy new year!