Making do.

Tell anyone you're pregnant & they'll for sure reply with 'sleep when the baby sleeps!'.
I can't say I agree.
Although I have been blessed with babies who sleeps really well at night,
So I very rarely need to nap during the day.
Anyways, my honeymoon period after moving to our own place is over.
The first month or so the kids will definitely go to sleep by 10, latest 11 pm.
But these few weeks Hilwa has been staying up til way past midnight,
& since yesterday she's been napping after maghrib,
Which honestly is a blessing coz at least I get 2-3 hours of me time.
So what else did I do, but clean the house!
Started with scrubbing the toilet,
Prayed Isya right on time,
Took out all trash,
Put all the rags in the washing machine,
Mopped the house,
Did the dishes,
Hung the wash,
Had dinner,
& right on cue Izzaz woke up.
It was raining outside so I left the sliding door open to let the cool air in,
Watched some 2 Broke Girls,
& just chilled.
It's 11.20 now & I just remembered I've prayed Isya!
These monkeys can go ahead & jump to their hearts content.
Of course it'd be great if they would go to sleep now instead,
Coz I could do with being horizontal on a soft bed,
But I'm gonna be a typical freaking housewife & say a clean house & completed prayers will do just fine.

Edited at 5.19am to say Hilwa hasn't slept the whole night & now I gotta cancel my haircut tomorrow (which I've been really looking forward to urghh). When you're a mother, just keep your big mouth shut & never say anything that can challenge the laws of the universe lulz

Staycation.

I can't sleep.
I get to sleep early coz I don't have to wait up for Ikhwan, & I can't sleep.
Blardy hell.
Anyways this post was writing itself in my head so let's just make it official.
We've been entertaining the kids on a budget these few weeks,
Coz, you know, we're responsible adults who have to pay rent, & we poor lulz.
It turns out KL has a lot to offer the poor.
But I'll start with the obvious & the obviously free,
Which is the pool downstairs.
I love how every single trip is like a freaking vacation for Hilwa,
& Izzaz legit got his confidence to walk while in the water & having only the float as support.
They're both such natural swimmers I love it.
Moving to a condo with a pool is like the best decision I made my whole life, period.
Next is the horse riding we took Hilwa at Titiwangsa.
It's actually part of the DBKL unit berkuda stable,
But they open it to the public on weekends & during school holidays I think.
It's RM1 per round for children, & you can buy as many tickets for the number of rounds you like.
I mean, taking a dump in KLCC costs 2 bucks so I really felt sorry for the horses,
But then each round takes about a minute & if you take into account rest time & climbing on & off the horse, I'd say 40 productive minutes per hour,
That's already RM40 per hour wage & that's really not bad for just walking in circles lol.
But seriously, I hope the horses are treated right.
They look healthy though, & the place is not just clean, it's actually pretty.
Kudos, DBKL!
Next is the butterfly park near tasik perdana/lake garden.
It's RM11 per adult, but that beats paying triple that for farm in the city.
It's super pretty though, I'm obsessed with gardens & flowers,
& having thousands of butterflies just casually flying around,
Cmon. Total sucker.
I couldn't stop taking pictures.
There's also some fish pond inside & you can buy fish food at the tickets counter for RM5 per packet.
We got there a bit late & only stayed an hour coz it was getting hot,
But it was a good trip.
Then other times when we get lazy we just take Hilwa to the indoor playground at Curve.
Well, there are many parks around KL but this one you don't have to worry about the weather lol.
But we haven't been in so long coz you know you'll end up spending without even realizing it when you're in a mall.
It's a good back up plan though.
Anyways, I hope to discover more gems around here in the future.
Staycationing without even needing to check into a hotel,
The perfectly poor way teehee.

Grateful part 2

There's so much negativity on media nowadays,
Well, always but these few days it's been intense.
& last night I got the news one of my besties from school just lost her dad.
We've drifted apart but I remember clearly all those times I used to spend at her house,
Her dad taking us out to OU & makan,
Most often even giving us pocket money.
They lived a humble life but everyone who knew them, knew he positively dotes on her.
What a dad, I hope he rests in peace & that's Allah blesses his soul.
Anyways, I've been holding off a flu these few days & today I caved.
Woke up past noon with a heavy head, & when I got up I couldn't walk straight.
Literally saw the room spinning everytime I open my eyes.
Ikhwan then proceeded to bathe the kids, prepared a simple lunch for them, cleared up the sink from last night's mess, & offered to take the day off.
Oh he also went out to buy lunch for us.
If this isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm also super grateful for his workplace, for his boss,
He could be biased coz I worked under him first, & we had an great relationship,
But these days with Ikhwan working for him he always, always made sure us the wife & kids are prioritized.
& he is sure to check up on us the day after to make sure nothing serious happened.
I don't know how long this will last because things are changing at work,
But for now everyone can bitch about my husband's hours or workload,
The most important thing is he's happy,
& he's always available when the need arises.
It's kind of a fact that a responsible man is not a romantic one (it's OK, I complain about it to him all the time lol),
But romance can't get you through a sick day amirite?

Grateful.

We hosted a housewarming & birthday party for Hilwa yesterday.
It went so well & I'm on cloud 9.
The menu was simple, nasi goreng & spaghetti with some nuggets, kuih & fruits,
Plus sandwiches by Zura & banana dessert & curry puffs by Ikhwan's mama.
I ordered a simple chocolate cake from Fatin Izzati (whtthefudge) which was wiped clean,
& pretty much all the food was gone but everyone had their fill.
So happy!
I'm left feeling grateful, above all.
To mama for sponsoring so many things, & pretty much cooking everything when I acah said I'd do it & she'll only help,
She was also the one who set up the buffet because I was in the shower & rushing to get dressed like a headless chicken at 3pm when guests were supposed to arrive.
Grateful to both my family for coming, & bringing more food, & looking after my kids, & making the birthday girl feel so special.
Grateful to have Ikhwan as my husband, who took the trouble to buy more ice & mineral water when we seriously underbudgeted our needs, then for going all the way down to the guard post to make sure all the guests registered smoothly & got a parking spot.
Grateful to have friends like Imara (she's now Fun-ty I coz she's the fun aunty lol) & Lin & Wan who nailed their gifts that we literally had to distract Hilwa & sneakily hide them coz she wanted to play RIGHT NOW.
& grateful to everyone who took the time to come with all the generous gifts that made Hilwa's day so much.
She got a beautiful dress that I can't wait to dress her in, a handbag which I swore was in my wishlist since she started carrying her toys everytime we go out now, chocolates & ice cream (need I say more), & so much more I kinda lost track.
It's an amazing feeling, having almost everyone that is important in your life gathered in your home & enjoying each other's company.
I apologize for any shortcomings, for not being able to sit & catch up with everyone,
& I would probably not do another open house for a long time because I almost died with exhaustion last night lol.
But yesterday was seriously the bomb.

Scolded.

I just got scolded by an amoi in the lift, & it's like an awakening.
Let's start from the top,
Was at my mum's the whole day today & my brother was there too.
Hilwa was basically hyper the whole time with her cousins.,
Then for dinner I already made plans with Imara & Apis so I dragged 2 tired kids out.
After dinner they fell asleep in the car pretty much the moment I strapped them in.
As per the usual since I've been living on my own on the 12th floor,
If Hilwa sleeps I'll transfer her into the stroller, push it one handed & Izzaz will be in the other arm.
While waiting for the lift, enter amoi who didn't say hi or acknowledge me in any way,
Well I wasn't focusing on her too.
She stood slightly behind me,
& when the lift door open of course I hastily pushed the stroller in to not cause any holdups,
At the same time she made to enter first but then stopped when I moved.
So we got in & she asked for my floor number & I said thank you.
A moment of silence, then she spoke.
'I wanted to go in first & hold the door for you. Then you don't have to rush, scared the door bang you'.
She had this way of saying it that made me feel like I was scolded,
But instinctively I just said 'oh it's OK, thank you'.
Well 12 floors is a long way up, & I'm not complaining but this lift is super slow.
It felt like a loooong time while everything sank in.
But I'm not writing this to bitch about being scolded,
It's the huge realization I got,
That is I as a mom am too self conscious.
I always feel that me & my kids are in people's way,
I always get overprotective,
I always rush them everywhere & expect them to behave perfectly,
When most people I meet, especially in this building I'm living in, is more than happy to help.
What did I think, that the amoi wanted to enter the lift first so she can shut the door on my face?
Of course she won't, of course she'll hold the door & help me get in safely.
I have this tendency of wanting to always appear like I have everything under control,
Like I have 6 arms & can carry a sleeping baby while pushing a stroller & holding the lift door open while casually sipping a frap.
I don't know why but the thought of strangers seeing me in any way but calm & in control bothers me.
It's a problem, I now recognize that.
It's OK to accept help, it's OK to ask for help, especially at home Hilyah.
This is home & I have to learn to trust my neighbors.
All of them have been nothing but lovely so far.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

So this whole moving to a new house thing has left us literally broke & maxed out on both our credit cards.
Naturally, I'm craving for retail therapy.
A tudung, a handbag, jeans, shoes, you name it. I NEED THEM ALL.
(No, really, I don't)
Of course there are things I do actually need for the house like a vacuum & microwave & a haircut (badly. My hair looks like the tip of something I shouldn't mention here. It starts with a D).
But I seriously can't,
Couldn't even justify spending RM30 for some sandals on Zalora just now.
Yes that's how broke we are.
I know exactly how this will end.
This craving won't just go away.
I already see myself dragging Ikhwan to Jusco or Tesco & picking out a useless RM10 toy for the kids,
Because spending on your kids is always justified! Do not even try to deny it parents.
Then next week I'm gonna complain these idiots have so much toys & they don't even play with it, they just pour it out of the bin & take pleasure in seeing the mess.
& I'll hide those toys in a plastic bag on top of my cupboard.
Repeat cycle the following week.