Not so star crossed after all.

I'm done with the hunger games.
There's so many things going on in my head,
& they relate to completely different issues,
I'm torn between feeling completely content & borderline hysterical.
It's a smart book, despite being on the YA genre,
It makes you really think.
Part of me can't believe I swore it off when I first found out about it,
Part of me really glad I waited till I'm right here in my life to read it.
Peeta & the ending,
It brings me such a feeling of calm & contentment.
I don't even feel like watching the movies right now, or ever.
Unlike other books where I couldn't wait to just relive it again, just to see it brought to life.
No, I'm done with the games & the chaos.
Katniss assassinating coin,
I'm glad she did it, from the moment she got to 13 I can't help picturing the Kate Winslet of divergent as coin.
Calculative, selfish, evil.
I swear I really didn't know what happened in mockingjay after whatever ended in the part 1 movie,
But from the start I couldn't shake off feeling there's more to coin than just the ultra-strict way she ran 13.
Who's to say when she's in power she wouldn't starve everyone worse than snow did?
She could even use the excuse where she's used to her cautious, military ways of 13,
& just rationed everyone to the point of death lol.
But I guess the worst part of the series is realizing how truly it reflects real life events.
Everyone keeps on calling out for a change in leadership,
But referring to coin, how do you know your life would be better when someone else takes over?
Trust me, everyone has their own personal agenda.
& the idea that we live in a society on this world relying on one figure to lead us,
It is scaring me to the brink of madness right now.
& that, ladies & gentleman, is why I never want to pay too much attention to politics.
Now I'm gonna go disappear into a world of peeta, of a girl & a boy playing in the meadows, of having a pair of hands that keeps me wrapped up in safety at night.

Catching Fire.

I'm probably about 20% through Catching Fire, the 2nd book of Hunger Games,
& I'm already questioning my existence.
Had teppanyaki for dinner last night & I didn't finish my vege,
Then I felt horrible because people at district 12 don't even have enough to eat.
We spent last night at a hotel,
Had a lavish buffet breakfast,
Then splashed around in a pool,
& now I'm questioning what's the point of it all.
To some people in the world, a daily shower is a luxury.
I'm blogging this solely to preserve my thoughts.
Let's see where the rest of the story takes me.

Parenting.

Oh gosh it's been a hectic couple of weeks.
Lin's wedding (& the Wednesday before) deserve a post of its own & my total concentration.
So I'm just gonna blab things off the top of my head for now.
Like my style of parenting because I feel like it.
I've been reading quite a few articles on how to deal with toddler tantrums la, overly sensitive kids la,
& they all say the same thing,
Empathize & give attention.
Maybe coz I choose to read things like this & not the 'cry it out' side of things.
It's easy to read, understand & talk about it.
But putting it into action is a whole different story.
These past 3 days I've been pretty much holding the fort on my own with my parents away.
So what I do is settle all chores in the morning, bathe, eat, make sure kids are full, clean & dry, all happy before ikhwan leaves for work,
Then I pretty much can't even go to the toilet unless either one is napping.
Every cry, every squeak needs to be responded to, even with just a little 'hmm?' or a cuddle.
It's madness.
I don't think it's even logical if you are a single parent, or a housewife without any helper at home when your husband is at work.
I guess I just have to pray by some miracle my kids turn out ok lol.
This leads me to another topic I can't help but be passionate about:
Babywearing.
I have long resorted into wearing my son at home when he's being impossible.
Going out without any carrier makes me feel like I'm dying.
We have turned back home after having entered one utama parking & found a vacant spot simply because I forgot the ssc.
Nasib baik la seberang jalan je rumah.
I asked my sister last night while having dinner & Izzaz is strapped to my chest,
"How did you manage without babywearing when the kids were this age?"
She seriously can't remember.
Selective memory, I can totally relate lol

Panic Station.

I jokingly posted Panic Station on Lin's timeline because she has officially started her marriage leave as of 9pm.
Woot!
But then the joke was on me as I began to panic when I realized I actually have a long list of to-dos too.
Ermagerd gone are the days when I can roll off the bed Friday morning & rush to get everything done.
I have to account for tantrums, mealtimes, or simply clingy-baby-won't-leave-mama-alone cases.
What a time to be sick.
Finally feel better today after nearly a week of skull-crushing flu.
I literally could only function after taking panadol to relieve the pain,
& even then I only function for the absolute necessities.
Finally called Aunty Maria masseuse extraordinaire,
& turns out my whole body has been in knots.
So that explains why my realization came so last minute.
Ok I feel so much better after actually typing out the list of to-dos,
& crapping about it here.
3 days til my best friend gets hitched!
Let's dooooo this!

2016 Wishlist.

Welcome, March.
I refuse to feel depressed, old, nostalgic, whatever.
Instead let's carry on with the tradition of posting my wishlist here,
Because it's hella amusing reading them back (there was a time when all I wanted was Matthew Bellamy, pfft. Would have done better asking for a gold ring or something, young Hilyah).
Anyways..
I'm going to start with the actual thing I asked from Ikhwan,
& that is a ceiling fan, installed & in perfect working order (the current one broke down quite a number of months ago).
Because I swear to God in the current heatwave it's not funny having to survive on a table fan.
Yes I know I have the aircond but it's not practical for the 5 mins I spend in the room praying Asar when it's hot as hell.
So now that I've set this as the birthday present I know by hook or by crook we will get it done this month.
Fingers crossed no drama.
Ok just because I have decided on a gift doesn't mean I don't have a list of other ridiculous stuff.
Boy do I have an actual list in my phone.
I guess the thing I want most (& need the least) is a fancy hwcssc priced in the 4 digits region.
It's green, it's handwoven, it's ridiculous. I want it so bad.
Next, I want a mani pedi, a haircut, a facial, a full body massage, a delicious meal, desserts after, all sans kids nor even remotely worrying about them.
But Izzaz (& Hilwa, seriously) is still very dependant on my bubis,
So maybe I could do them one by one every weekend in March? Lulz one can dream.
I want a backpack. Because.
I'm not picky, it could be a jujube brb/bff, or a storksak poppy, or a skiphop forma backpack.
Oh I'd take a Kipling, I really don't mind.
& while we're at it, I kinda need a new wallet.
The only problem is I have a specific design in my head that doesn't exist so maybe we could go to some leather craftsman & have it custom made or something.
Yeah awesome.
I think that's it.
I'm so proud of how my wishlist can actually be purchased now & does not include kidnapping rockstars & stuff.
The problem is they don't come cheap.
But seriously it wouldn't be called a wish if I could just buy it today right.
So now who's buying me prezzies this month?