31.5.09

aku masih rasa kekosongan itu..

that gaping hole. there's something missing. there. right there.

& realizing that, i cursed myself for not waking up early; for not visiting him even for a while that morning.

sebab aku masih rasa kehilangan itu.. aku masih rindu.




dah lama tak terlena dengan air mata. dah lama bantalku tak basah pagi-pagi buta. aku ingat aku dah lupa perasaan itu. aku tersilap. we never forget. ever.

20.5.09

because cleaning out my room isn't fun

it's surprising that such a big amount of junk can be found in such a small place. i'm only, what, 1/6 through with my room & i already don't know where to stuff everything. they're unthrowable, but if left everywhere they're a mess. gahhh screw the new cupboard! hahah

oh oh before i proceed, ada satu soalan cepumas. how do i dispose off my old agama books/exam papers/notes/etc? obviously tak boleh campak dalam tong sampah sebab ada ayat Quran. then how? 'cause i have a drawer full of them, & i kind of need to clear out as many space as i can. so yeah.. this has been one of my major headaches..

anyways.. i have to go figure out a solution to make my mess look unmessy. at least till the Ikea people are done assemblying the cupboard. & then i have to figure out a solution to permanently make my mess unmessy. haihh.. i need a vault at gringotts >.<
mama supports my new obsession with leggings. she said, pointing to a girl who was wearing those kind of long tops with leggings, "i suka tengok orang pakai baju macam tu".



YEAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY
finally something i can wear without feeling guilty :P
(& the best part is, she's paying for it huhuuu)

18.5.09

Feeling Good

i feel like smiling. smile people.. jom!


:)))))))))))))))))

15.5.09

kikisduitkau.blogspot.com

what's more depressing than browsing through online boutiques while you're broke? FALLING IN LOVE WITH COUNTLESS ITEMS WHILE KNOWING YOU CAN'T BUY IT.




gahhhhhhhhhhhhh.




nope. i won't complain. i know i need to start earning money but i never did look for a job. so padan muka kau hilyah! padan muka!

13.5.09

Nur Dzulaikha Binti Abdul Munir

okay.. i'm not really a good friend. i've been thinking of texting ika for days, but i didn't. until she finally texted me just now. so what the heck, let's write one on her.

Nur Dzulaikha Bt Abd Munir (nombor kad pelajar 2006468413 haha). she was my classmate for 3 years straight, she sat beside me for a year, & for 3 sems she lives in the room right across mine. need i say more? we eat together (because we loooooove food). we sleep together (but in different rooms & definitely on different beds, because we looooooooove sleeping). we gossip (because we're girls). we even sell nasi lemak together, on nights that my official nasi lemak partner, syaza, can't make it. oh yeah we walk to & back from class together. we go home together! most importantly. since part 5 was it? we go home together almost every week. ok enough of stuff we do together.

i call ika "ekamok". because my mission in life is to convince her she's fat (really, she's fat haha). her favoritest is nasi with kari DM2 plus keropok. she'll go nuts. actually, she'll go nuts at the sight of keropok even if there's no kari. oh yeah i forgot. she lives in sungai buloh, specifically kuang. yang ni susah sikit nak kidnap 'cause i don't quite know the way to her house. ok ika is proud of the fact she can make a car go backwards & forwards (drive & reverse la). dia ada lesen ok. tapi dia fail sikit haha. she is a bit scandalous in our batch because she's close to this guy who kind of has a lot of admirers. tapi cam isu ni lawak sikit aa. haha oh well..

aiyoo apa nak cita pasal ika ni eh? dia suka kentang, basically dia suka makan. kalau bab gelak, dia nombor 1. oh yes! tapak tangan sentiasa berpeluh ke tahap menitik yer.. ripley's believe it or not. adik dia, adila, sangatlah mega comel geram nak gigit! adila panggil ika "kakakika" hahahahah

haih tah la ka.. sorry la kalau kau baca post ni. aku tengah blur. hahah biarlah memori kita tersimpan between kita berdua je. ehcey.. i heart you sayang :P

maaf yer bilik semak. tu tempat ifa tu yang bersepah sangat tu. ish ish ish

oh yes! ika ni sangat gayat orangnya! dulu masa part 1 or 2, kalau naik faculty CS tingkat tinggi-tinggi sikit, makin laju peluh dia mengalir. jalan melekat kat dinding. hahah lawak serious. tapi semenjak trip ke kellis castle (& also taman negara) dia dah berjaya get over her phobia! tahniah! ni gambar bukti ika dah tak gayat! :D

12.5.09

Deeper Conversation

And if you dont mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
and Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

who would have thought, who would have thought.
if someone came up to me 10 years ago & said "one day, you're going to sit down & talk to this guy, tell him all your fears & dreams & show him all your insecurities" i would have laughed & said "please, give me someone more sensitive".
well.. that's why we can't see the future. because if i saw this, i would have tried to change it.


danial idraki? what? that guy who used to chase me around padang? the guy who at the sight of him, i'd run straight home & not go back to the padang until he leaves? him? fate is funny.

10.5.09

& the match hasn't even started yet

i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored, it's insane.
i hate football. i really do. football at FS. worst nightmare. alone at home with no plans but with a new dress you're itching to wear? EVEN WORSE.

i'm so bored i don't even feel like writing a blog (i knowww i'm writing one now. whatever). i know i have about 10 blogs i have to write, on my close friends in perak, plus a few photo albums (kellis castle, the 3 years in perak..) to post but i just don't feel like it.

i feel like going out. with anyone. ANYONE, CALL ME PLEASE. no.. actually.. i want you, specifically you, to call me. text me. whatever.

where are you?

6.5.09

Nur Iradah Binti Mohd Nor

aku dapat ilham time gosok gigi tadi. instead of writing one longass post, why don't i write a post for every friend worth mentioning? so jom! post pertama adalah mengenai ira/eiyra/aira, my roomate of THREE YEARS.

nama diberi nur iradah binti mohd nor. tinggal kat pj (dekat je. anytime aku boleh pergi kidnap). bersekolah rendah dan menengah pun dekat pj. my first impression of her was "erhh.. yang mana satu roomate aku ni sebenarnya?". ira is the second of 4 siblings, all girls, & they were all there in my room masa hari first day register kat uitm perak tu. i singled out her mum, i tried to single out her eldest sister ('cause she does look older than us) tapi dia pulak yang peramah lebih so i was like "ke minah ni yang roomate aku sebab tu dia tanya macam-macam?". then tiba-tiba diaorang semua hilang. pergi lunch kot. so aku pun.. apa-apa jerlah.

malam itu ira ni memberi kejutan kepada roomate aku lagi satu, ifa. dia mintak tidur sekatil! alasannya, dekat rumah dulu dia selalu tidur ramai-ramai adik-beradik. jadi dia tak selesa tidur sorang-sorang. kesian ifa. tapi cerita pasal ifa ni esok la pulak eh? dalam less than a week, kitaorang bertiga dah jadi rapat sangat. berkomplot against roomate keempat yang masa tu belum sampai lagi. selalu jugak kot duduk borak-borak dulu. kiranya, boleh masuk la.

part one rasanya tak banyak sangat jadi between aku & ira. lately ni je kot kitaorang terlebih rapat. sejak kitaorang buat program exchange boyfriend. aku untung sebab syuk (balak ira) jenis melayan. siap belanja chicken rice shop lagi ye! haha masa tu ira ada sekali la. ira pulak baru dapat jumpa pear semalam. don't worry ira. nanti kita pergi trip, kau ayat la pear puas-puas. dengan syarat, syuk mesti ada sekali. hahah

ok ok kita pergi ke sifat-sifat peribadi si ira ni. dia ni suka rambut curl. dalam 3 tahun aku kenal dia, 2 kali dia buat curl. tapi yang latest ni tak bernasib baik sikit sebab dia tershampoo rambut curl dia tu dengan shampoo anti-volume & anti-frizz (hari pertama) lepas tu shampoo special untuk rebonded hair (hari seterusnya). hahahah lepas incident ni, terus sanggul rambut sampai habis sem. tu lah ira.. orang kata jangan main ambik aje shampoo dalam bilik air tu. hahahah lagi.. dia ni punya ayat favourite "buat-buat hilang ingatan" & "buat-buat gila". reasonnya sebab dia ni loqlaq sikit, tapi jenis cover cun. so kalau terjadi insiden-insiden malang keatas diri dia (selalu ok) dia akan buat-buat gila untuk cover malu.

salah satu insiden malang paling popular adalah muntah atas motor yang sedang ditunggang laju oleh syuk. hahahahah ni memang klasik. kalau aku jadi syuk, sweater belang-belang dia tu memang aku tak pakai dah. especially tang poket dia tu. huhuhuhu

hmm.. ira ni kuih favourite dia is kuih "sarang tebuan" yang dijual di uptown dengan harga 50sen sebiji. hahahah lagi dia suka makan laksa dengan bontot ayam. dia melatah menggunakan phrase "oh meloncat!". dia tidur dengan mata separuh terbuka & suka melekat ke dinding. dahlah badan kurus. kadang-kadang sampai tak nampak dia atas katil. dulu rutin harian dia is mandi pukul 6 sebab nak tengok spa-q pukul 6.30. tapi semenjak spa-q habis ni, dia lebih gemar menghabiskan masa di bilik. oh oh dia juga suka greet orang menggunakan "ching choooong". mana dia dapat pun aku tak tahu.

ira, ira.. kalau aku nak cerita sampai habis, aku rasa aku kena buat satu blog special untuk dia. so.. kalau aku teringat apa-apa lagi pasal ira ni, nanti aku update balik.

us back in part one

manja-manja time

dinner block part 2

adeh rindunya.
ditag oleh mariaaaaaaaaaaa
dan kerana aku memang confirm-confirm tak boleh tidur sekarang gara-gara nasi kandar 24 hours session tadi (cue: lin tertanya-tanya apa terjadi? baaaaaaaabe balik cepat ini topic blab terbaik!) so mari buat tag ni

Anda rasa anda hot?
oh yes ttdi sungguh panas hari ni.

Upload gambar kegemaran anda
for now..
Kenapa anda suka gambar ni?
sbb mereka roomates terbaik! thnx for d memorable-est time! oh rindunya.. tak sampi 24jam berpisah pun lagi.

Bile kali terakhir mkn pizza?
erhhh... earth hour kot. 28th march

Apa yang anda buat selain menyelesaikn tag ni?
texting. thankyouthankyouthankyouforforgivingme

Selain nama sndri, anda suka dipanggil dgn nama apa?
lily. hahahahah

Tag lg 7 org?
1. linsayang
2. yan
3. afynn
4. farah
5. lula boleh tak?
6. jepp
7. erhh... erhhh.. fai je la..

Siapa no. 1 kepada anda?
kembar! sister! babe! cintahati! soulmate! kawan! lifeline! tempat mengadu! segalanya!

Siapakah org no. 2?
adik kepada segalanya diatas.

Orang no. 3 ade hubungan dgn sesiapa?
ohh encik habri masri yang telah kidnap lakiku tengok bola dirumahnya. hmph!

Bagaimana dgn no. 4?
apa dah nama boyfriend dia.. kamal!

Kata sesuatu berkenaan pada orang no. 5?
surpriiiiiise hahahah

Pesanan kepada no. 6?
hmm... majulah music untuk negara!

Pendapat anda tentang no. 7?
oh sayang sangat. dia yang telah greet aku kat pintu petang tadi dengan "oh.. the graduate is back!" lepas tu kasi chocolate. abangku terbaik.

5.5.09

dia kembali..

patutlah semenjak duamenjak ni aku asyik teringat dia. patutlah malam tak boleh tidur bila memori-memori lalu datang menyapa.

piala itu aku genggam erat dalam tangan kiriku. tangan kanan menghayun laju. hentak kaki dua kali. menghadap kehadapan. piala aku dudukkan di sebelah kaki. senang diri. nafas aku tarik dalam-dalam, tahan senyum. dalam banyak-banyak wajah dihadapan, matanya aku cari. jumpa. dia senyum, thumbs up diangkat. senyuman aku terlepas juga, kembang dada. proudest moment of my life.

"kuat jugak instinct lya eh?" katanya selamba.

-------

"2 tahun setengah eh kita tak jumpa? lama betul"
"farouq la.. takleh nak maafkan lya la, apa la.."
"eh salah farouq pulak?"
"habis tu salah lya?"
"ok ok kita sama-sama salah"

aku melangkah perlahan, menduga riak wajah mereka. marah, tidak. ok pun tidak. ada yang mula mengejek-ejek. "awek farouq datang, awek farouq datang". aku cari matanya. dia pandang, senyum. aku senyum kembali. tapi dia tak datang dekat, berpaling lagi ada.

-------

"apa yang buat farouq terbuka hati nak message lya balik ni?"
"sedangkan nabi pun maafkan umat lya, apa lagi orang biasa macam farouq ni"

pear tanya aku, do you still have feelings for him? tak, aku cakap. tak sama sekali. i nak kawan balik dengan dia je. selama ni i rindu-rindu dia pun bukan rindu time kitorang together, tapi time kitorang kawan. maybe, kata pear, dia dah finally get over you? maybe dia memang nak kawan balik dengan you. terima je lah.

dia ketawa. ketawa! hanya orang yang pernah dengar ketawanya yang tahu. or mungkin cuma aku? what's not to forgive now..

-------

terima kasih EG! terima kasih banyak-banyak. kau dah kembalikan warna "sherwood dark green" yang dah lama menghilang dari hidupku. jasamu dikenang!

heyhey sama-samalah kita "raikan" kekalahan tahun ni eh? kalah zon, kalah wilayah, what's the difference?

3.5.09

vivid

this morning when i woke up to lin's call, it felt important. terlalu vivid. it felt like you were really there. sampai tersesak-sesak nafas mencari internet. perlu ketenangan. perlu outlet. perlu something.

then mandi. then lin & lula datang ambik. then lunch kat v5. then "seringgit kapal". then merepek. then... erhh.. rasa macam dah ok je. rasa macam tak penting je. hahh! aku bebas. hahah

so yes. ingat, hilyah. lepas ni kalau mimpi-mimpi pelik, bila bangun distract yourself. gelak, ketawa, pergi flirt dengan matthew. buat lah apa-apa. sebab mimpi hanya mimpi :)


oh yeah..
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LIN SAYANG!
surpriiiiise :P