semalaman

semalam saya sangat nakal. saya keluar, balik rumah, keluar balik, balik rumah balik, keluar balik & stay diluar sampai 12 tengah hari tadi. tanpa meninggalkan nota kepada ibu bapa, serta phone saya pun off sebab battery konk. kemana saya pergi? rumah imara. yeahhh jauhnya!

disebabkan ariff ajak lepak, & baby flight petang, jadi diorang datang ttdi. tapi gedebuk gedebak, plan agak hancur. menyebabkan kitorang berempat tak dapat sit down & talk (& laugh sampai nangis) seperti biasa. so dalam bisik-bisik, saya cakap kat imara "i balik hantar pear dulu.. then korang datang ambik i, kita pergi la mana-mana". so kitorang jalan-jalan, undecided mana nak lepak, gi mcd drive thru beli fries beraneka jenis ("kak.. bagi fries biasa satu.. curly fries satu.. large fries satu.." banyak betul jenis fries mcd jual eh?), lepas tu aku tunjuk jalan baru kat ariff from curve pergi ou. then ariff drove on. imara got excited. "kita nak pergi mana ni?". aku & ariff pandang-pandang. imara bersuara lagi "ni macam nak balik rumah i je". ariff gelak. "mana lagi nak pergi?".

then imara got bored. so dia start korek cupboard dia. she pulled out boxes upon boxes of love letters la.. hadiah zaman kanak-kanak la.. diary la.. she even found arwah izwan's old phone (moment silent sebentar, yang membuatkan baby berfikir sejenak & ariff cuak sebab ingat aku nak nangis). then the crying really began. sumpah gelak sampai tak keluar bunyi, hanya bahu goyang-goyang. finally, setelah cuba & cuba resist temptation, aku pun balik rumah ambik koleksi love letters aku. dengan luqman dulu, dengan naqib la.. surat-surat merepek dengan kina tatkala kitorang malas nak belajar dalam kelas. gila. sambung gelak sampai nangis.

then ariff & baby kena balik, because it was already 3.30am. but the fun didn't stop there. imara jumpa dan terus jumpa kotak-kotak ajaib dalam almari dia. i never thought arwah izwan would make me laugh so hard ever again, but he did semalam. "stupid dog". hahahahah okay post ni dah macam syiok sendiri kan? hahah too bad, all of you!

mari mandi dan cari lunch.

oh lupa. itu kucing kesayangan saya, yang mama & abah baru nak sayang jugak, mati kena langgar pagi tadi. i haven't grieved yet. but i will, soon. okay i think i'm beginning to feel sad now. aaa liiiiiinn.. it's him.. it's my favourite cat. the one i cannot mention here sebab takut menimbulkan kontroversi. sedihnyaaaaaaa

tag pertama saya!

my first tag ever! yan punya pasal la ni. huhu

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose six people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave a comment (“You’re tagged!”), and to read your blog, you can’t tag a person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

hmm.. this is going to be tough. i'm weird through & through.

1. i brainstorm in the toilet. no seriously. it's when i'm bathing or, uhum.. answering the nature's call that i get ideas in my head. go ask imara.. she can tell you 3 different times when i just came out of the toilet & announced to her "i was just thinking..."
   
   
2. the only sport that i really get is tennis. as common as football is (i mean.. who hasn't watch a football match in his/her life wei?) i still sometimes don't get why certain things happen. but tennis rocks. i love tennis, anytime anywhere.
   
   
3. i think too much. enough said. & god, does it make my life more complicated!
   
   
4. i just realized my weakness is the smell of other people. so don't smell nice when you're around me. it could be dangerous.
   
   
5. i cannot stand cigarette smoke. really.. i'm not trying to be annoying or offensive, but if you're smoking beside me i just cannot breathe. no.. it's not because i have athma or anything, i just.. rather not breathe the smoke.
   
   
6. i love my school. eventhough i graduated 3 years ago. deal with it.
   
   
7. i talk too much, but i don't warm up to people easily. so when i'm around you & i cannot stop talking, it means i'm really comfortable with you (& you're very unlucky because, refer to number 3, i cannot stop thinking. meaning i always have something to say. hahah)
   
   
8. i think the best moment in my life, ever, is when i was trekking up gunung ledang, & i was at this point where the trees were beginning to be shorter (you know how as the altitude rises, the trees grow shorter) & it was a misty day. i felt like alice in wonderland, being taller than the trees. & the fact i couldnt see past the mist makes the moment so magical, like there's a surprise waiting for me just around the corner. best moment ever, unrivalled.
   
   
9. this i just realized like 10 minutes ago. my parents don't love me. seriously. hahah no.. i think they're just way cool. or that i'm too predictable so they kind of know where i went last night. yeah.. get this.. i disappeared from my house, didn't tell my parents, went to imara's house & decided to sleepover there, & the best part is my phone died. perfect timing! i was supposed to get up at around 8 am, i woke up at 12.15. you'd think my mum would have lodged a police report already or something right? no.. the moment i stepped into the house, my dad said "hello.. kellis castle is gone. kena langgar tadi" (kellis castle is my favourite cat, but his name is something else. my dad just likes to call him kellis castle -_-"). so yeah.. enough of imagining dramatic jejak kasih moments right? hahah
   
   
10. as much as i think i have very few female friends, i actually have a lot. the main contributor being uitm la. i thought i would die, being forced to live with three other girls for 3 years. but actually i think it's the best years of my life, learning new stuff, getting to know new people & all.
    
    
11. there are certain areas in life that i can be totally heartless about. i won't elaborate here.
    
    
12. this i never told anyone, ever. i actually think it's super cool to be those kind of robotic accountants who work around the clock & choose preparing financial statements over socializing. if i live like that, then at least i get to maximize the usage of my brain & excessive energy. (but i think my friends could guess this la.. i mean.. all the talk about wanting to work at KPMG. that's got to mean something right?)
    
    
13. but, i have pear. & i love him to bits. so no.. i'll go into financing & get a more normal job so at least i get to see him at night & on weekends. yes. i do love pear, in my very own weird & complicated way. i really do.
    
    
14. i.. am.. running out of things to say. WOW! i never thought it would happen in my life, ever. me not having something to say. cool.
    
    
15. if i have a lot of money, i'd love to go to either the sahara dessert, or to the outer space. don't ask me why. it's just pretty. oh! i just remembered! the catacombs in paris would be cool too!
    
    
16. i'd reeeeally love to learn to drive a manual car again. i've managed to drive abah's pick up truck. now i want to drive a manual car. then i'd feel like i've accomplished something in life. hahah!

okaaay.. now i don't know who to tag, cause yan's tagged everyone else. & i don't want to tag them twice. let's see.. i'll tag

maria! because i know she has a lot of interesting things to say about herself.

afynn! because she's weird too.

farah! because she's on my blog list (too bad girl). hahah

dekyan! because this will help fill up her time in uum this weekend. hehe

ismal! because then i'd have more things to read!

fai! because i can't think of anyone else.


sila, sila!

"but i'm glad la after what happened, we can still be friends"
(ini telah diparaphrase untuk kedengaran lebih proper)




STILL friends in an understatement. nothing changed, AT ALL. kita ni heartless sangat ke sebenarnya? haha




haihh.. entahlah :P

gratefulness

was listening to ace of base's the sign on the way pergi swimming tadi. best! (ala.. you know the song, "i saw the sign, & it opened up my eyes, i saw the sign".. malas nak letak the lyrics here. oh well, you get it, right?)

today sangat best! kiara pagi tadi with dan, breakfast with the girls & swimming petang with mereka. redah hujan (yang eventually stopped, yeay!) serta belasah mandi walaupun period :P i want to be spontaneous. i want to be simpler. i want to be more open, like liy k told me to. sangat bangga when imara asked me "do you need something to cover your head?" masa nak keluar kereta in the rain, & i said "no it's ok i'm fine". i hope this lasts.. this dissolution of walls & defences.

i'm so thankful to God that these few days have fallen into place so beautifully. from waking up after the dream thursday morning (& the made up conversation i had in my head that miraculously soothed my long "restless" feelings), to anas's wedding, to the conversation with ariff & finally, what happened today. the baggages that i've carried with me since i was a child have been addressed with. eventhough its not all, but its most of what's been weighing me down. & i tell you, i feel so light already. so yes.. syukur alhamdulillah :)

lin said this morning.. "God made us go through hell first, so now we appreciate what we have". well, it may not exactly be hell, but you get my drift. hee i love you babe! i love all of you

bear with me sekejap. please? mekasih. i want to flatter myself, atau dalam bahasa melayunya, mengembangkan diri.

hah! caught you staring! tau.. aku pun stare-stare jugak kan? can't help it. somehow u still look like you did, what, 16 years ago? tak tahu lah. dalam pandang-pandang, aku rasa macam balik ke zaman tu. 2, 3 hari ni, aku notice benda-benda yang terjadi (kecik-kecik je semua, tapi it impacted me dengan sangat hebat) buat aku terkenangkan waktu-waktu dulu..

..back to simpler times.

--------~--------

sebab kau..

buat aku dengar lagu-lagu mellow (bukan hanya muse)

sebab kau..

buat aku lari dalam hujan, ketawa gembira (bukan kerana terpaksa)

sebab kau, kau & kau..

buat aku tersenyum (bukan setakat 2, 3 hari ni, tapi seumur hidup aku)

ah.. sebab kau yang ajar aku erti senyum sebenarnya.
kau yang ajar aku erti hidup.
kau yang ajar aku apa itu kawan.
kau yang ajar aku apa itu rindu.
kau yang beri aku memori-memori pertama aku (yang terbaik semuanya!)

seeing you again just now, it did not complicate my life (my feelings) as i predicted it would. it actually put me at ease. aku tau kau ingat aku. aku tau how close we were dulu ada significance in your life. & itu je lah kan? tak perlu lebih. sebab apa-apa jadi sekali pun, we are already in each other's life.

ah saya suka perasaan ni. rasa complete, rasa tenang, rasa macam tugas dah selesai.. mari bersantai dengan imara, baby & makrip pulak!

--------~--------

baru teringat.. mama's first word, secara randomnya, masa dia nampak amir kat kenduri tadi was "ochit!". sumpah aku gelak nak pecah perut. see! memori terbaik semuanya!

boleh kita kawan? JE. please.

we've been at it how many times? enough boleh tak? malam ni kita pergi karaoke (or tengok wayang, whichever) kita pergi as kawan ok? macam masa kita pergi tengok circus dulu. "the four stitchketeers" la kononnya (sebab minat gila tengok lilo & stitch, apasal entah!). kalau awak attempt apa-apa, kita putus sahabat. ok? ye, tau.. tak ok punya. awak memang tak paham bahasa. bluek kepada awak!



harap-harap awak tak ambik serious message "siapa cepat dia dapat" saya tadi. kalau tak, mati saya! awak pergi pinang girlfriend awak cepat-cepat, jangan pinang saya. ok?

surprise, surprise

aku dah jumpa ketenangan yang aku cari!
listening to fury, a bonus track by muse

ah esok hari yang amat sibuk. ada 4 wedding untuk aku attend!
pagi: kak aira nikah
tengah hari: wedding kak soya
petang-petang sikit: wedding anas! (more on this later)
malam: wedding aimi & nazmi

focus kepada wedding ketiga yang aku kena attend. ANAS! masyaallah. masa abah sebut nak kena pergi rumah uncle malik (sambil kitorang sefamily tengah borak-borak pasal weddings) aku terus terpikir "anas kahwin!" biar benar! baru semalam aku teringat dia, adam semua. lama tak jumpa.. tiba-tiba nak pergi wedding dia terus. wah! terujanya saya!

kalau betul-betul nak narrow down siapa yang aku grew up with, anas & adam la yang paling aku rapat. dulu almost everyday pergi rumah uncle malik. masa aku kecik, jalan kat subang la aku paling hafal (& sampai sekarang kalau aku masuk subang, aku still cam jalan nak pergi rumah diorang even though subang dah banyak change). wahh.. anas.. married! (maafkan saya.. i'm in a state of shock & excitement)

hmm.. dua, tiga hari ni banyak betul ujian eh? dari mimpi pasal elyas, now anas (& the thought of seeing adam tomorrow eek!) & tadi abah ada sebut secara tak langsung pasal arwah iwan.. haa sangat rindu kepada zaman budak-budak dulu :')

actually.. aku nak letak gambar kitorang semua masa kecik.. tapi scanner tengah buat perangai babi. maka.. takpelah. insyaallah esok aku ambik gambar anas (as a groom! ya allah i still can't accept it hahah!)

ini terbaik

KUGING ATAS POKOK

TOLON!

moment pecah perut tatkala berlagak jadi hero.

pengajaran dari kejadian ini: skill panjat pokok sangat berguna!

the way of the sunray. haha

adik invited me to contribute on his "cheery" blog (no.. not the one where he's plotting to be king). comel, seriously.

it's only 0857hours, yet my day has been full of surprises. oh well.. lets go post something "cheerful" on the other blog.

oh & al-fatihah to lin's uncle. hugs babe! can't wait to give you a real one this weekend

i cannot gather my thoughts. honestly, i get what these articles are saying, & i don't even need to read it until the end. i just can't put it into words, can't summarize them into a powerpoint slide. i just can't get it to flow that way. i want to talk. just stand in front of the class & babble on. can i please? i'm so tired of trying. it's getting pretty lame.

arghhhh screw this! screw diploma! screw degree! SCREW STUDYING!

yaya mimpi gigi bawah dia patah. if it were real, the sign that dream is suppose to bring, please let it be me.

vacancy

1) Assignment 1 FAR350 - a presentation on Islamic Accounting - due on 19 january

aaa malas! theres 3 different documents to be read, then converted into a presentation. saya penat *sniff sniff, cough cough* masa terbaik untuk sakit kan? benci *achoo!*

2) Cari notes for AUD390 - Sarbanes-Oxley Act, COSO, Cadbury report - due on 20 january

apa susah? google je la kan? tidak! tidak sama sekali.. dengan adanya perkara yang tersebut di (1), ini menjadikan jumlah document untuk dibaca meningkat kepada 6 (& counting). oh masa, masa.. serta tenaga. aku perlukan redbull.

3) FAR350 project - BREM Holdings - due on 9 march

ini sebenarnya satu project yang aku sangat excited nak buat. tapi sayang, it's due on 9th march. meaning, tugas-tugas yang terlebih dahulu aku sebut adalah lagi penting dan urgent. nasib baik jugak la annual report dia 90 page je. yes, je. ada company lain yang mencapai 3 angka ye. jadi BREM Holdings ini ala-ala kacang saja. tapi still! i must refrain myself from doing this before the other 2 gets done.

oh, & not to mention, the million other petty things that needs to be done. like photostating past sem papers for ika tersayang, serta rebinding nota-nota FAR350 yang telah dibind dengan hampeh (i know.. kerja sia-sia.. tapi aku tak boleh study kalau material untuk distudy itu sangat tidak menyelesakan. hahah is that even a word?). serta cari biskut untuk aku bawak pergi kelas hari-hari.. juga mama ada menyebut nak pergi OU or tesco, buat apa entah. aaa penat! penat!

sesiapa sudi nak tolong? buatkan presentation tu je, tak susah (haha ye la tu). aku belanja nasik lemak RS anggerik 1. 2 bungkus pun boleh. siapa nak? siapa nak?

malu tak?

seriously.. malays need to read more literature. tak kisahlah in malay or in english. but preferably in english la. sebab sekarang aku tengah annoyed dengan perangai immature serta agak bodoh golongan melayu uitm ni.

ceritanya, aku telah tulis satu ayat dari poem yang aku dapat dari buku kegilaan aku tu.
"but, my Corinna (telah digantikan dengan "Matthew"), come, let's go a-Maying"
aku buat ni minggu lepas.
minggu ni aku datang balik tengok pc yang aku selalu pakai kat lab ni.. dah ada tambahan
"hud taht matthew?...... such a jerk/"
ala kesian.. bukan setakat dia kena belajar english literature, dia juga kena pergi kursus menaip serta crash course mengeja. kesian kan? macam mana boleh lepas masuk university entah?

sebenarnya aku malu nak post benda ni, sebab aku pun memang student uitm gak kan? tapi post je la. mana tau ada budak uitm dari golongan camni baca blog aku, pastu dia insaf. huhu

nasib baik aku ada darah bukan melayu. thanks abah, for marrying mama!

degree digressions

maf380, what?

i'm confusing this subject with ais360 'cause the same lecturer is teaching it, in about the same place (& she keeps repeating "awak belajarlah dalam buku text nanti". wthell?!). so anyway.. i was bored enough to google "vassar". then i kind of got hooked to the website. seriously.. maybe it's 'cause i'm much older now, but i remember being unimpressed by the harvard & other ivy league's websites back in the days when i so wanted to go study overseas. or maybe it's 'cause years have passed & the students/staffs are more tech-savvy. i should go pay a visit to harvard's website, maybe now it's not so bad.

anyway.. vassar's website is so informative, i even found a link to some students' blog (& it didn't help with this obsession with all things related to the lake of dead languages). i must say, my dream of studying elsewhere have been reignited. but of course i won't pursue it. the main reason being i'll be so homesick i might just die. plus the fact vassar's in the US & usually colleges/universities in the US do not recognize malaysian syllabus. & i'm not that rich. i know vassar offers grants & scholarship & stuff, but they keep on mentioning "US citizens" & "permanent residents". there's nothing much on international students, so yeah.. i obviously can't afford a $50,000+ (stress on "dollar", yeah) degree. oh & i'll be so tempted to major in latin, so there's another good reason to not pursue vassar.

hah.. there you go. random ramblings. i told you i'm easily influenced by literature. (yes, i'm reading the lake of dead languages again). i really have to start researching/deciding on what degree i'm definitely doing, not the degree i wish i could do.

lin saya rindu awak juga!






ni lah akibatnya nak post, tapi tak ada topik.

lab sejuk. sangat.

ah saya silap! but i don't want to delete the previous post.

it's not 3 days in a row, it's 4! 31st december was girls day with lin & farah. haa baru tengok the album on facebook (for the umpteenth time). yes.. truly, truly blessed. utterly, extremely high.

:))))))

higher than ever

3 is a magic number. at least, that's what it says in the book i'm reading now. it's also in the saying "third time's the charm". for me, i take something as a sign only when it happens 3 times or more. like, if i slip while wearing a pair of slipper 3 times, i'll take it as a sign that i have to buy a new one. 'Cause if it happens once, it could just be an accident; if it happens twice, it might just be a coincidence. but 3 times? that's almost like a fact.

so.. 3 days in a row? ah.. atas awan. been up there since the first of january, & haven't had the chance to come down yet. everyday ada je yang meng-angau-kan.

first of january, the unexpectedly pretty fireworks show, then the outing with lin & izzul.
second of january, maulana & sulei session with pear & lin.
third of january, mosin with dan.

seronok. i don't want to jinx it by saying this, but it's the best new year i've ever had in my life. or at least, the most meaningful. i know noone can stay at the top forever, but come what may, i'd always be glad i went through these 3 days with these amazing people.

"i want to, but i don't want to take up too much of your time"
"it's not like i have that many friends pun"
"don't la say it like that. it sounds so sad"
"fine.. i'll put it this way; i enjoy spending time with you. you're one of the few people i enjoy spending time with"
"then i'll definitely give you a call!"
-said to one person, but now i realize it applies to all.

hee.. let's go bask in this angau-ness. may it last for as long as possible!

new year, new me

sudah. tutup cerita. enough of terasa-terasa, enough of complain-complain kat those who actually matters. jangan sampai diorang jadi menyampah. jangan sampai yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran.

ew.. kejar ke? tak lansung. not anymore, at least.

(pinjam ye lin & rakan-rakan) aasudahlaaa.. enough of you.

hee mari kembali senyum!

:)

my first day of 2009 was well-spent. enough doses of lin & izzul to keep me angau til next weekend, i say. hee! i'm scared words might ruin this high-ness.

geng "hati babi"

hahahah manalaaa cikgu dapat such a phrase?

aaa nak blog tapi tak boleh put it into words! from yippee cup (& the surprise gift from izzul. sangat comel! mekasih banyak :'D) to attempts of stealing the baubles kat oval to mosin to lin's house (& the sinfully good homemade chocolate cake) to sending izzul gi futsal. terbaik segalanya!

this is for keeps. this is to last.