Reminder.

Yesterday I came across a sale post of a Tula full wrap conversion going for half it's usual price.
Super cheap, heart attack moment.
I was calmly ranting to Ikhwan,
Came up with the plan on how to finance it,
Messaged the seller, filled a whole box with things for the move, slept through the night,
I only got a reply this morning.
After a lot of questions & patiently waiting for more pictures,
I told her I'm confirming my purchase,
To which she replied someone else already confirmed just before me, & paid soon after.
So I went about with my life,
Sort of proudly thinking how patient & mature & redha I was,
Like if Allah really wanted me to have it then I would have gotten it,
But it's just not my rezeki today.
It was a good feeling, no doubt.
But then then kids were extra challenging today & I screamed at them,
I was cursing in my heart,
I said things I'd regret all my life,
I even hit Hilwa harder than was necessary.
So no.
Patience & maturity & redha isn't just about losing out on a purchase.
I've probably got 98% more to learn.
Keep that in mind Hilyah.

Move.

We are FINALLY moving into our own house.
It's a rental though, but who cares.
I've never actually seen the point nor believe in buying a property.
I'm literally counting down seconds to the move.
The last straw for me was Hilwa almost getting crushed to death by a chest of drawers.
She got the idea of pulling out the drawer one by one,
Which shifted the centre of gravity so the whole thing tilted over.
Luckily she was smart enough to run the hell away,
& I was in the kitchen so Izzaz wasn't anywhere near her,
& there was a chair nearby that stopped it from crashing all the way down.
But damage is done, the bottom drawer was spoiled by the sheer weight of the whole thing.
Took 3 adults to straighten it back up.
A RM600+ drawer bought just a year ago ruined.
I went straight to iproperty, contacted an agent that very night, & arranged for a viewing that very weekend.
We paid the deposit less than a week later.
Today Hilwa poured water onto my mum's laptop.
It was on so I pulled out all the wires & took out the battery.
It's hopefully drying out under the fan.
I hope with my entire being that it's not spoiled.
Mama's in the midst of her anugerah koko shit.
She'd throw a fit if all her files are gone together with the laptop.
Shit I'm so nervous & stressed I can't even register any real feelings.
I can't freaking wait to move these monkeys to a place where the only thing they can hurt is themselves.
They cause expensive damage & I'm tired of protecting other people's stuff.
2 weeks feel like forever oh my effing god.

Remember to chill.

I'm here today to remind myself of something important,
That is to live in the moment,
To be grateful for every moment.
It's 1904hrs, both babies has had dinner & is asleep.
Hilwa hasn't had her bath but she just had her diaper changed.
Who cares, Hilyah, focus on the bigger picture.
Now you go take a breather,
Tackle your to do list,
Fold clothes,
Whatever makes you happy.
You know they're both gonna wake up later & keep you up all night.
But what's important is right now they're both asleep.